Dos And Don’ts Of Mail-Order Food

So you want to send a nice fruit basket or something. Read this first.

3. not this

scary reminder-of-mortality apple

6. not this

not a funny joke no no no

12. not this

sprinkles on meat NOT COOL

15. not this

weird hot dog pie insulting not just pies but America

21. not this

what.

24. not this

STD cupcakes

39. not this

The “Caperon” — made for Dad’s who want to ruin their teenagers’ lives

42. not this

Prairie oysters. You don’t want to know.

45. not this

‘Cause wtf are they going to do with that.

48. not this

Salty caramel popcorn vodka. Oh yes, it’s real.

57. not this

This seems like asking for trouble.

63. not this

Chocolate penis hats

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