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27 Things Only Ladies With Small Boobs Will Understand

Is it legal to marry my bandeau yet?

1. Cleavage? Yeah, not a part of your vocabulary.

You can stuff, you can hoist, you can tape, you can use any mechanism of modern engineering — but nope, girl, nothing’s ever gonna peek out of THERE.

2. Going braless isn’t as easy as our bigger-boobed counterparts may think it is.

We still need nip coverage and shaping, or else it’ll look like a bird’s-eye view of two tents being pitched inside our shirt.

3. But tops with built-in bras: totally an option! Yay.

And you can wear a variety of cute tops without worrying about the neckline being too scandalous.

4. That awful middle school/high school phase where you thought it was necessary to stuff.

 

5. Having to buy a size small bikini top but a medium/large bottom.

What am I, some kind of MONSTER?

6. And padded bathing suit tops are SO obvious and never fooled anyone. Come on.

7. The horror of wearing THESE:

Just look at them. *shudder*

8. The dismay of trying on a bra called “nearly A” and having it fit perfectly.

9. Worrying that your new bedroom partner is going to be disappointed once you ditch the padded push-up bra.

Even though he/she probably won’t be!

10. The visceral anguish of strapless tops.

1. It’s going to fall down ALL DAY.
2. My shoulders are broad and I don’t have boobs to balance it out, so I look like a linebacker.
3. The weird armpit fat cleavage — NO ONE LIKES THIS.

11. But bandeaus? Under muscle tees? Hell yes.

12. Realizing that when *some* guys talk about how they like girls with “smaller boobs,” they really mean, like, a C cup.

13. The annoying fact that A-cup bras usually come with, like, 8 inches of padding, but we don’t all want to prop our boobs up to our chins, OK????

14. Being resigned to tops and dresses that fit perfectly but have WAY too much extra room in the boobular area.

15. Secretly wondering if your breasts are even big enough to function as a sustenance provider for your future children.

16. Putting on a name tag means obscuring your entire boob region.

Just another reminder of how pint-sized the twins are.

17. Sagging: not an issue in your immediate future. Yes!

Jason Merritt / Getty Images

e.g., Charlize Theron’s perky rack.

18. When everyone said, “Your boobs will grow in when you get a little older!” But then you hit 17, and you started to freak out a little.

19. People telling you, “Don’t worry, when you get pregnant they’ll get bigger for a while.”

20. The fact that just one sports bra totally gets the job done.

Having to layer TWO? No thank you.

21. When larger-chested ladies tell you you’re “soooo lucky” you don’t have to deal with back pain:

22. Being able to wear cute bralettes because your need for “support” is next to nil.

23. Now that high school’s over, cracking jokes about your modest bosom…

24. …because you’ve already heard it all.

25. And knowing it’s easy to smuggle booze (and just about anything else) into bras that are just a tad too big for you.

26. Feeling solidarity with all the other fierce ladies out there who are also members of the IBTC:

Isaac Brekken / Getty Images

Tim P. Whitby / Getty Images

Alberto E. Rodriguez / Getty Images

 

Like Kate Hudson, Jada Pinkett Smith, and Sandra Oh.

27. And guess what: Your small boobs make you a total babe anyway. Yay, bodies!

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