12 Unique Survival Tips For Surviving A Horror Movie

So many have tried to survive horror movies, few have made it, here is what I've learned.

1. Get straight across bangs

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Think about it ladies! The rocker chick from MAMA, straight across bangs, daughter from conjuring, straight across bangs. So moral of their hairstyles is if you're being chased, grab scissors and cut bangs, then you will survive. It's guaranteed.

2. Don't introduce your significant other

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It never ends well for either one of you, so just dont.

3. Silence your cellphone

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You're trying to run away from a demon or a serial killer or maybe a serial killing demon. Put your phone on vibrate!

4. Invest in a shield

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No one ever expects to be in a horror movie, so be prepared for when your time comes. Just buy a shield.

5. Always turn around

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After generations of horror movies this seems like a no-brainer, but people never learn.

6. Also never go in the basement

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What are you people thinking? Ignorance is bliss. The bad guy will never get you if you don't go looking for him. He gets the basement, you get the rest of the house. Problem solved. And this goes for attics too!

7. Own a GIANT house

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How are you suppose to hide from people/demons/monsters if you live in a two room apartment?

8. Always carry a protein bar

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At all times. I'm serious! You never know when horror is going to strike and you never see people sitting down to have their dinner while a demon is haunting their attic. You just dont.

9. Invest in caller id

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Seriously, she would have known they was in the house the whole time.

10. If you do move houses, don't use past resident's stuff

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I know this is shocking to so many, but really if this is the only thing you take away you remember they left it there for a reason and so should you!

11. Be creative with weaponry

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Frying pans, meat tenderizers, bag of potatoes, etc.

12. You don't have to be fast if you're not a threat

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Aim to be the plucky comic relief of your movie.

Goodluck!

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I hope you make it to the cliff hanger conclusion that never really leaves the audience feeling secure, and maybe you'll even make it to the sequel!