Adam Levine Is A (Hot) Idiot

Maroon 5’s front man shared some choice words on the blonde babe America loves to love - Honey Boo Boo (Alana Thompson) - and proves how much of an idiot he really is. posted on

From GQ:

“Seriously, Honey Boo Boo is the DECAY of Western civilization. Just because so many people watch the show doesn’t mean it’s good. So many people witness atrocities and can’t take their eyes away from them, but that doesn’t mean they’re good. That show is literally The. Worst. Thing. That’s. Ever. Happened. It’s complete fucking ignorance and the most despicable way to treat your kids. Fuck those people. You can put that in the magazine: Fuck those idiots. They’re just the worst. Sorry, I’m so sensitive to that—like, I don’t know, man, it’s upsetting. Just to clarify, I said, “FUCK THOSE PEOPLE.””

Oh, Adam. I’m not going to dwell much on the hypocrisy of that second sentence—you’re a judge on the talent show that DOESN’T feature Britney Spears—but if you’re citing a kindergartner to be the “DECAY of Western Civilization,” there may be a few American history lessons you want to brush up on. Better yet, just go see Lincoln, and ask your friends for the historical context afterward.

In true douche-bag fashion, Adam doesn’t give many specifics on why he so badly hates Honey Boo Boo and her eccentric family, so what has Maroon 5’s main man so impassioned with rage? I get it – people who go on television, reality television nonetheless, are open fodder for judgment and criticism by the public. I can sit at home and discuss the parental flaws on 17 Kids and Counting or on Honey Boo Boo’s original claim to fame, Toddlers in Tiaras, without ever having reared a child and no one would care.

But we’re not talking about your usual breed of reality TV family. The Thompson clan has a special, unique place in American pop-culture, and marks a transition from ironic taste towards a want to think genuinely. Push past the self-branded redneck antics, individual flair of the English language and the Honey’s baby niece with two thumbs, there is a strong, cohesive family unit. They support and love one another through it all – not because they HAVE to, but because they WANT to. Honey Boo Boo and Mama didn’t and do not enter pageants to win any fame or money or prizes, nor are they teaching young Alana that physical beauty has any bearing on her life. Pageants make Honey happy, and Mama June lives to make her and her family happy in any way she can with the little they have. Add that the Thompson’s used donations given to them to purchase and give gifts to less fortunate children, speak openly about supporting our president and LGBT rights – something Levine is a grand campaigner for – this family should be celebrated, not shunned, for their dynamic. “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” proves that American people aren’t just obsessed with ridiculous antics. When you pair entertainment with honest human happiness, everyone wins.

So what’s your big beef, Levine? How can you rant about this family when the Kardashian clan teaches the value of nepotism and deep pockets? How is Honey Boo Boo “the worst thing ever” while the Westboro Baptist Church still pickets funerals of fallen soldiers? What makes her show any worse than one featuring contestants hurling themselves at superstars for a chance to be the next Kelly Clarkson, when, really, all the show does is boost the stardom of the paneled judges?

It’s simple. TLC gave a happy, lower income, traditionally (by television’s standards) unattractive clan a shot at fame, and, unlike many other reality show stars, they refuse to change themselves for it. And Adam Levine can’t handle it. Having non-pretty, non-rich people on his TV is the worst thing that could ever happen in the history of anything, ever. He worked really hard to whore himself out for a paycheck, while Honey Boo Boo rose to fame by pure virtue of being herself, and doesn’t even want to keep the money.

I’ll expect Maroon 5’s “Songs about Honey” sometime next fall.

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