10 Times You Wish You Had A Badass On Speed Dial

Agent Kruger is a sword-slinging sleeper agent stationed far behind enemy lines, on the dystopic cesspool we call Earth. When Elysium is threatened by a renegade force, the powers that be will #ActivateKruger, and send him on the ultimate manhunt. Elysium, starring Matt Damon and Jodie Foster, in theaters Friday.

1. When some sneaky thief snags your phone at the mall.

2. When you spill a bottle of hot sauce on your jeans right before your big meeting.

3. When a g-g-g-g-ghost is haunting your elevator.

4. When your coworker’s being an insufferable jerk-y jerk.

5. When you need some help with the yard work.

6. When some random scuzball gets a bit too friendly.

7. When you’re about two seconds away from being flattened like a pancake.

8. When you need someone to kick your awkward work get-together into high gear.

9. When you wanna make ‘em regret picking you last for dodgeball.

10. When you need someone to hunt down the one threat to your perfect utopia.

Kruger’s got your back. Witness Elysium, in theaters Friday.

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