1. When you make zero excuses for ordering a ton of pizza, because life is just too damn short to count calories.
2. And you're over society having an opinion on how you should look and how much you should weigh.
3. Because there are some days when all you can think about is FOOD.
4. When you have your heart broken and it's the most painful thing in the world.
5. But then you realise you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and be the badass woman you really are.
6. And you refuse to be judged on your expression of sexuality.
7. When you learn that there'll always be one ex who'll pop up JUST when you've stopped thinking about them.
8. You have moments where it feels as though everyone around you is taking couple selfies, getting married, or having babies.
9. And people deem it necessary to ask you when you plan on having children.
Because since when is that anyone's business?
10. People also assume that just because you're single, your life is lacking in some way. Like, hello, it really isn't.
11. You have moments where you have absolutely no idea what you're doing or where you're headed.
12. And all you can do is stress about everything.
13. And have days when you just want everything and everyone to go the hell away.
14. Or just hide under your duvet, eating chocolate, and not come out.
15. In fact, you know some rough days are only cured by a large glass of wine.
16. You live by the philosophy that if it didn't go on Instagram, it didn't happen.
17. And you know exactly what your friends have done every night for the past week purely because of Instagram.
18. You know the best nights out will involve girlfriends, white wine, dancing and memory loss.
19. And your friends are the best wingwomen you could ask for.
20. You know there is literally no better feeling in the world than getting home, pulling your hair into a ponytail, and putting on the comfiest sweats you own.
21. And, often, hanging out in sweatpants is more appealing than shots of tequila.
22. But for all that sweatpant-wearing, you still manage to spend approximately £9 million on Asos.
23. When you can scarcely be bothered to shower let alone brush your hair and apply make-up.
Is it acceptable to wear pyjamas to work?
24. Especially when it feels like you spend far too long contouring and highlighting and bronzing as it is.
25. When you get called a "bitch" for daring to have an opinion.
26. And someone mansplains for the HUNDREDTH TIME THIS WEEK.
27. Or calls you bossy when actually you're being sassy AF.
28. When you learn – often the hard way – that you HAVE to trust your instincts.
29. And you know that as hard as it is sometimes, there are some friends in life that you just have to leave behind.
30. Because you've learned exactly what you will and won't stand for – and exactly what you deserve.
And if that means removing bad friends and fuckboys from your life, or fighting for that promotion, or getting a new job, or treating yourself to something you've truly earned, so be it.
31. Because ultimately, you know who you are – and that's pretty damn amazing.
