This is Benedict Cumberbatch. You probably know him, right?
Fancy him a little bit do you?
Well, there's just so many reasons why he's not up to scratch.
1. First of all, just look at his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that you could get lost in.
2. And that smile. I mean, is that really a smile you'd happily wake up to every single day for the rest of your goddamn life?
Yeah, thought not.
3. He's also really kind and considerate. But you don't want that, do you.
4. And you definitely don't want someone who looks this damn perfect in a suit.
5. Plus, the addition of a bow tie definitely isn't making you weak at the knees and inducing slight heart palpitations.
6. You don't want someone who will play with animals in the snow.
Oh my goodness! #BenedictCumberbatch #snow #dogs
7. Or someone who will take his shirt off to reveal his beautiful body at any given moment.
8. Who even wants biceps that muscular and abs that rippling anyway?
9. No, you really don't want someone who's this much fun.
10. Or someone who has a witty comeback for every occasion.
11. You don't want someone so committed to gender equality that they'll wear a T Shirt stating they're a feminist. Because that's definitely not the most attractive quality imaginable in a man.
Now THIS is what a feminist looks like #ellefeminism #BenedictCumberbatch http://t.co/yEEt05Fd0I
You're a feminist? Nah, sorry mate, I prefer oppression.
12. You don't want someone who will kiss you this passionately.
13. Or someone whose very laughter is enough to make your heart fricking SING.
14. Or someone who loves his mum so much he'll go to the Chelsea Flower Show with her.
15. You don't need to look at a jaw line this chiseled.
16. You don't want someone who looks this smooth when they're dancing.
17. And who the hell wants compliments anyway?
18. Do you really want to crush on someone who pulls off a white tuxedo this flawlessly?
19. Is it really attractive that he stands up for his female co-stars when they're met with insulting and sexist comments?
20. Do you really enjoy how damn majestic he looks on any red carpet he steps foot on?
21. Does he honestly look the perfect mix of intelligent and suave and sexy when he wears glasses?
22. And would you actually want to lie in bed next to him, gazing up at his face as he smiles while angels in heaven grow their wings?
23. You know the answer.
Let's stop this madness.
