3. You lie awake at night calculating just how many hours’ sleep you’d have if you FELL ASLEEP RIGHT NOW.
4. And then you don’t fall asleep.
5. You check the time throughout the night and literally want to kill yourself as the hours go by and you’re still awake.
6. Then the birds start singing and you know you have an hour till your alarm goes off. Thanks birds.
Then you feel bad for being angry at nature.
7. As soon as you do get to sleep, something is sure to wake you up.
This includes, but is not limited to, pets, your SO, the sun, the rain, bin day, foxes having sex, receiving a text message, snoring, birds chirping, doors slamming, noisy neighbours, needing the loo, being too hot, being too cold. And then you have to go through the whole process again.
8. It’s really not unusual to survive a whole day at work on just two hours’ sleep.
Even though most of the time you don’t even remember your own name.
11. People constantly ask if you’re OK because you look “shattered”.
I feel like shit AND look like it too? Oh yeah, thanks so much for that.
12. “No, really, you look so tired.”
I KNOW I HAVEN’T SLEPT FOR A WEEK.
14. When people say they understand because “Sometimes I can’t fall asleep till like, midnight.”
15. It’s almost as bad as people saying, “Oh I can’t relate at all, I fall asleep as soon as I get into bed, if anything it’s annoying.”
16. You try to feign interest when people suggest having a bath/milky drink/reading before bed.
Oh really, do tell me more because I’ve never thought to do any of those things.
17. Tiredness makes you emotional. Things get outta control upsetting.
Check yourself, you’ve only run out of milk.
18. It also makes you hungry. In fact, you just feel permanently in that hungover GIVE ME CARBS stage.
19. You’ve been called lazy because you have a lie in at the weekend - mainly because you didn’t fall asleep until 5 a.m.
20. Oh, by the way, weekends are also pretty much a write-off.
You’ll just spend the entire time doing this.
21. You’ve experienced emotions ranging from anger to despair when you’ve tried EVERYTHING to try and sleep and nothing works.
22. You have begged for sleeping pills.
You MAY have even got down on your hands and knees.
24. You dread any time when you have to sleep anywhere other than in a bed.
Seeing as you can’t fall asleep in bed ordinarily, you definitely won’t be able to on the ground in a tent.
25. You feel so happy when you meet someone else with chronic sleeping problems.
I LOVE YOU. BE MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER. MARRY ME.