People Angrily Tweet At United Airlines Parody Account Thinking It’s Real, Parody Account Hilariously Responds

“We allow you to exchange worthless paper for the opportunity to ride a missile across the world.”

The @UnitedAirlanes parody account was created in May 2012 and tweeted for a month before going silent.

On Wednesday, more than a year later, the creator of the account realized something glorious.


@sarahlouisedob Oh shit, did you eat the food? You're not supposed to actually eat the food.

— unitedairlanes (@United Airlanes)

For those following I am stuck still at #Buffalo @unitedairlanes thanks for trying to fight the weather. You are doing well!

— sonchyADV (@Michael Soncina)

@sonchyADV Here at United Airlanes, we strive to not let a little thing like the fury of God prevent us from delivering tolerable service.

— unitedairlanes (@United Airlanes)

it amazes me that after all the advancements in planes these days @unitedairlanes still has the worst entertainment system known to man!!!

— alexglaser101 (@Alex Glaser)

@alexglaser101 It's a missile made of gun metal traveling at fast through space there are few amenities available inside a giant bullet

— unitedairlanes (@United Airlanes)

@unitedairlanes then why have all of the other airlines managed to do it?

— alexglaser101 (@Alex Glaser)

. @alexglaser101 They strike deals with purveyors of black magic. We strive to fly 100% curse-free, and pass the savings on to you!

— unitedairlanes (@United Airlanes)

@unitedairlanes ur full of shit, and a fucking piece of shit airline, that's it, end of story.

— alexglaser101 (@Alex Glaser)

. @alexglaser101 Next time you fly United Airlanes, whisper "GRASSY KNOLL" to your attendant to be taken to the in-flight shooting range.

— unitedairlanes (@United Airlanes)

@unitedairlanes lost my brothers carseat. Y'all suck

— GodJamit_0216 (@Jacob A. Moreno)

@GodJamit_0216 In our defense, it's really comfortable. If a bit small.

— unitedairlanes (@United Airlanes)

Shout out to @unitedairlanes for stranding my wife at YWG for nearly 12 hour for a short flight to Chicago. Excellent service.

— ConorWhately (@Conor Whately)

. @ConorWhately After the first six hours, she technically belonged to us. You're just lucky we met our monthly quota.

— unitedairlanes (@United Airlanes)

The @unitedairlanes staff at Gate C8 in @Dulles_Airport are a complete disrespect #news

— BruPayne (@Bruna Payne)

@BruPayne Count your blessings. At JFK they throw knives.

— unitedairlanes (@United Airlanes)

@unitedairlanes is that supposed to be funny? @JetBlue for one takes tweets regarding their company serious. Might want to take some tips...

— BruPayne (@Bruna Payne)

@BruPayne @JetBlue No, it's a very serious warning. We accidentally hired bounty hunters to run that desk and now we can't stop them.

— unitedairlanes (@United Airlanes)

@unitedairlanes how is it that you are the most expensive airline and yet don't have TVs on planes. Get with the program! #notv #longflight

— DROOOPYD (@Pap Artist)

@DROOOPYD TV? On a plane? We allow you to exchange worthless paper for the opportunity to ride a missile across the world. How dare you.

— unitedairlanes (@United Airlanes)

Follow @UnitedAirlanes for more hilarity.

Chris Ritter

And, for the record, the official United Airlines account is @United (and it isn’t nearly as funny).

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