The 11 Most Absurd Moments Of Eurovision 2013

The best, most ridiculously WTF highlights of this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. (And here’s a guide for the non-Europeans that explains what exactly Eurovision is.)

1. When Belgium’s singer was overshadowed by his enthusiastic backup (interpretive) dancers..

This was clearly the hot dance move of the night.

2. When Jesus appeared as the lead singer for Armenia’s band.

(Side note: Jesus apparently has very bushy eyebrows.)

3. When Moldova’s singer pulled a Hunger Games and lit her dress on fire.

4. When Hungary’s hipster band appeared to wander onto the stage completely by accident.

The absurdity was heightened by the flute player’s poker face…

And the sexual tension between him and singer Emmelie de Forest.

6. When Iceland’s singer was revealed to be the Norse God of Thunder.

7. When a giant viking carried Ukraine’s singer onto the stage.

The significance or symbolism behind this entrance was never explained to the Eurovision viewers.

So the internet drew its own conclusions.

Ellie Hall

8. When Sweden’s unleashed its smörgåsbord of awesome.

Since Sweden hosted this year’s competition, they were in charge of putting on a musical “halftime show.” They knocked it out of the park, performing a song-and-dance number that poked fun at Swedish stereotypes.

Sweden’s musical tribute to their country included jokes about recycling…

Cameos from beloved Swedish characters…

And a celebration of the country’s marriage equality laws (same-sex marriage has been legal in Sweden since 2009).

The tribute also included dancing Swedish meatballs.

I can safely say that after watching this video, I have never understood Sweden more fully.

9. When Greece performed its ode to free alcohol.

The song, “Alcohol Is Free,” sounded like a traditional folk song when band Koza Mostra began playing, but it quickly morphed into an upbeat pop song.

As most viewers were well into their drinking games at this point in the evening, Greece’s performance was one of the highlights of the night.

10. When Azerbaijan’s singers found themselves trapped in a glass case of emotion.

Singer Farid Mammadov told a Eurovision blog that the man inside the glass box is supposed to represent his inner torment and the lady in the red dress is meant to portray his lost love.

Inner turmoil? Imminent battle with an evil alternate-universe version of himself? Watch and decide for yourself.

11. Romania’s flamboyant opera dubstep vampire performance. All of it.

I can’t even pretend to be unbiased about this. Romania’s song was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen.

Romanian singer Cezar performed his song “It’s My Life,” while wearing a dress/robe, surrounded by what appeared to be nude dancers.

This is everything. This is beyond. This is perfection.

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