The 11 Most Absurd Moments Of Eurovision 2013

The best, most ridiculously WTF highlights of this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. (And here’s a guide for the non-Europeans that explains what exactly Eurovision is.)

1. When Belgium’s singer was overshadowed by his enthusiastic backup (interpretive) dancers..

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This was clearly the hot dance move of the night.

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2. When Jesus appeared as the lead singer for Armenia’s band.

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(Side note: Jesus apparently has very bushy eyebrows.)

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3. When Moldova’s singer pulled a Hunger Games and lit her dress on fire.

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4. When Hungary’s hipster band appeared to wander onto the stage completely by accident.

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5. When Denmark’s winning song “Only Teardrops” was accompanied by a very small flute.

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The absurdity was heightened by the flute player’s poker face…

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And the sexual tension between him and singer Emmelie de Forest.

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6. When Iceland’s singer was revealed to be the Norse God of Thunder.

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7. When a giant viking carried Ukraine’s singer onto the stage.

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The significance or symbolism behind this entrance was never explained to the Eurovision viewers.

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So the internet drew its own conclusions.

Ellie Hall
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8. When Sweden’s unleashed its smörgåsbord of awesome.

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Since Sweden hosted this year’s competition, they were in charge of putting on a musical “halftime show.” They knocked it out of the park, performing a song-and-dance number that poked fun at Swedish stereotypes.

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Sweden’s musical tribute to their country included jokes about recycling…

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Cameos from beloved Swedish characters…

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Ikea jokes…

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And a celebration of the country’s marriage equality laws (same-sex marriage has been legal in Sweden since 2009).

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The tribute also included dancing Swedish meatballs.

I can safely say that after watching this video, I have never understood Sweden more fully.

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9. When Greece performed its ode to free alcohol.

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The song, “Alcohol Is Free,” sounded like a traditional folk song when band Koza Mostra began playing, but it quickly morphed into an upbeat pop song.

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As most viewers were well into their drinking games at this point in the evening, Greece’s performance was one of the highlights of the night.

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10. When Azerbaijan’s singers found themselves trapped in a glass case of emotion.

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Singer Farid Mammadov told a Eurovision blog that the man inside the glass box is supposed to represent his inner torment and the lady in the red dress is meant to portray his lost love.

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Inner turmoil? Imminent battle with an evil alternate-universe version of himself? Watch and decide for yourself.

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11. Romania’s flamboyant opera dubstep vampire performance. All of it.

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I can’t even pretend to be unbiased about this. Romania’s song was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen.

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Romanian singer Cezar performed his song “It’s My Life,” while wearing a dress/robe, surrounded by what appeared to be nude dancers.

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This is everything. This is beyond. This is perfection.

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