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    • elliea4

      My sister and I are caregivers for my mom who has MS and we all care for my Dad who has Alzheimer’s. I come from such a loving family, and had such a wonderful childhood, and I still get so much from these two wonderful souls but in my darker moments sometimes I feel like I have been orphaned by their illnesses, And that We’ve switched roles and I’m the parent and they’re the children. (although I feel like the world around me doesn’t recognize the stress, time and emotional energy that would be involved
      If I was an actual parent.) I am so thankful to have a wonderful sibling to share the load, rely on and commiserate with. I don’t know what I would do if I was an only child.
      My father was a Harvard educated professor who studied language acquisition in children, and now he’s like a child himself, losing his language. One day I dropped by at my parents house and he was in his pyjamas in the hallway, with one of his books that had been published by MIT balanced on top of a cutting board. I asked him if he knew that it was his book and he didn’t, so I pointed to his name on the cover and he didn’t recognize his own name, even when I read it to him. I often have to carry, bathe and do personal grooming for my mom now and it seems like just yesterday she was cutting my nails and giving me baths and carrying me into bed. And I have to pretend to her that it doesn’t make me sad. In the grand scheme of things I know I will look back on this time with them and be happy I devoted it to them, but sometimes it gets really dark, especially when I see people my age getting married, having children, and launching their careers. C’est last vie - I’m soo very rich in family friends and love I really can’t complain.