Ellen is like your favorite memory foam pillow.
1.
Ellen makes the Walk of Fame blush red when she sits on it.
2.
Every time Ellen blows a kiss, an angel learns a breakdancing move.
3.
Ellen makes formal attire look magical in every way you want it to be.
4.
Ellen brings the shelter pet cute meter up, like, 20 points.
5.
Ellen is the only person living or dead who can pull off the business-on-the-top, casual-on-the-bottom look.
6.
Even when Ellen's not looking at the screen, her selfies are on fleek.
7.
Ellen makes every microphone better when she Heismans with it.
8.
Ellen makes fashion rain down and sparkle on her from above.
9.
Ellen makes curtsying not only polite and regal, but also dope as hell.
10.
Ellen makes every plain black suit pure, solid GOLD.
11.
And Ellen is literally the only person alive who can make pizza better.
12.
Basically, no man, woman, child, or giraffe can resist Ellen's charms.
