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Versace’s Refrigerated Beach

In an attempt to be awful and support environmental collapse, the fashion house is creating “the world’s first refrigerated beach” at the Palazzo Versace Hotel in Dubai. Said the hotel’s president, “We will suck the heat out of the sand to keep it cool enough to lie on [because] this is the kind of luxury that top people want.” You hear that, Top People? Amid economic crises and the global warming epidemic, the world’s douchiest resort will soon be at your very fingertips!

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