Before Lady GaGa took up residence in a spaceship on Planet Weirdo, she performed her signature piano ballads (barefoot, you guys!) at an NYU Talent Show under her boring name, Stefanie Germanotta. Bonus points if you wait until the judge at the end warns, “Watch out, Norah Jones.” Yeah, Norah Jones, you'd better watch out, or this girl's going to pull the space trannie rug right out from underneath you!

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The Best Links:

1. via The Daily What
2. GaGa at The Bitter End
3. Stefani Germanotta on MTV’s Boiling Points

If Weird Al wore John Lennon glasses and taught college classes or something, this is probably what he would look like. Let's get real, though: if “Weird” were to teach any class, it would definitely be Making Coolio Songs Funny 101.

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Brosephaurus Brendan spends his Saturday nights probably not unlike a number of other college dudes, bathing drunk in a tub filled with Natty Lites. Take note, Playgirl : this is how you capture a dumb jock in all his glory. Levi, to the bath!

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The Best Links:

1. via Social Crisis

Not that Taylor Lautner isn't supremely attractive (homosaywhat?), but nothing reveals the mark of a Sexy Mom using YouTube quite like reading “Is he legal yet???” scrawled across a teenager's abs. We can see the porn title already: Vampires, Werewolves, and Cougars, Oh My!

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The Best Links:

1. via Z103

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a brainless, endlessly self-promotional, greedy, gay-hating, moose-slaughtering, opportunistic, overconfident blowhard baby machine…in a cape! One thing's for sure: her boobs like uh-MAZING!

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What do you think: is Willi a weird kitty or practicing for a synchronized swimming meet? Maybe she's just easy. Yeah, that's it. She's easy.

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The Best Links:

1. via PEOPLE Pets

We don't really follow Twilight , but we do follow adult vampires dressed like Count Chocula. Someone dress up Taylor Lautner as Teen Wolf, stat!

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B and GaGa got together for the song, “Video Phone,” which could also be called called “You Are Gay Now.” Do you guys think they shared a ~*space limousine*~ home from the shoot together? We can only dream.

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The Best Links:

1. via DListed

Sorry to ruin your day, but someone shot a sea lion in the face in Sacramento, leaving the poor thing writhing in pain as he keeps his head in the air, struggling to breathe. Congratulations, Stranger Who Shot Sea Lion In The Face. You are officially a monster. [ UPDATE: If you'd rather not watch a sad video, you totally don't have to. -Eliot ]

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Christopher Beckett saw his dad bring in “craploads” of money with his own internet marketing site, so he's launching a similar project in which you will help fund the purchase of his new dirtbike. Just send him some of your “information,” and you'll have the ball rolling in no time! KID BIZ!

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The Best Links:

1. Via Ilana Glazer
2. Christopher Beckett Can Make You ‘Craploads’ if You Help Him Buy a New Dirtbike

150 Netflix envelopes and counting, one woman is turning her laundry room into an ode to her rentals by mail. Sure, this may seem like a clever project, but what if we were to tell you that every one of those envelopes concealed a rotation of Big Momma's House and Battlefield Earth ? Huh? Then what would you think? (Probably that it's still awesome.)

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The Best Links:

1. VHS Fail

One dude needs a place to rest his head …on live TV. Reporterbombing: LOLS without fail.

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Let's just say that watching a Golden Girls marathon doesn't necessarily make you “lonely and loveless,” okay? In fact, some might say it makes you a sex factory . Although “the Mary Lou Retton” is pretty good. Hehe.

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The Best Links:

1. via NextRound.net

GaGa gets the My Little Pony treatment from artist Mari Kasurinen. This is where we resist making horseface jokes because we're not terrible.

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ONN investigates the tragic death of an innocent young girl who died way earlier than Fox News's popular “Mormon f*ckface.” Meanwhile, in real life, Beck knows he's pretty much on the brink of being assassinated.

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Someone has strong opinion about the Gators, and he used a Corner Doll to air his grievances. We know nothing about sports, but we do know that corner dolls belong exclusively in retirement community condominiums, not on dudes' balls! For shame!

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The Best Links:

1. Go-To-Your-Corner Dolls Are Bad Bad Bad

Lady bears are losing their hair and developing rashes at a German zoo, and it's sad. On the bright side, they kind of look like four-legged, big-eared Gene Simmonses. So that could be a good thing?

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The Best Links:

1. via SARAHSPY

After a bunch of dummies in Maine (Buzzfeed superfan Joy Engel notwithstanding) voted against gay marriage yesterday, this clip from The Dana Carvey Show (featuring Carvey and Stephen Colbert) has been gaining popularity. Between lobsters, Stephen King, and that awesome scene from Maine-set In The Bedroom , we were really big fans of the state. Maine should take a trip to Iowa and cool off ):

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The Best Links:

1. via Gawker

The ultimate baa- ckseat driver. (Sorry, so stoopid.) [Disclaimer: this is my site, and I don't mean to be a shameless self-promoter, I just think the picture is amazing.]

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So I guess there was a parade? Of transvestites? …In Africa or something? (Good for them!) Isn't it nice to know that visible thongs defy gender and continent? What a wonderful world.

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The Best Links:

1. 24 Pictures Of The Scariest African Transvestites You’ll Ever See