2. You’re trying to convince yourself playing “small ball” is the smart move.
3. You recognize as many names on the spring training roster as you would on the German chess team.
6. Management says they’re building for the future and ask for patience.
8. Your minor-league prospects excite you more than anyone on your major league roster.
9. Your team’s payroll is just barely more than this guy’s salary.
11. Your team’s offseason felt like an episode of “Pawn Stars.”
12. Your cleanup hitter’s OPS would be considered a good credit score.
13. Your highest-paid outfielder hasn’t been on the team since 1999.
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