1. I Am Legend (2007)
Okay, I admit that I don’t like Will Smith very much – but that’s not the reason why I think “I Am Legend” was crap. I actually have five really good reasons to back up my opinion:
1. Will Smith manages to get outact by a German shepherd in the first half of the movie.
2. The German shepherd dies.
3. How the hell do all this zoo animals survive when there are actually bloodthirsty vampires hang around the streets every night?
4. What do the bloodthirsty zombie-vampires ACTUALLY eat if not the zoo animals and no humans left?
5. The only thing keeping me awake during this film were reasons 3 and 4.
3. Reign Of Fire (2002)
So…a bearded Christian Bale and a shirtless bald Matthew McConaughey fight fire-spitting dragons that survived deep within the earth’s crust. Humans didn’t know that because they didn’t dig deep enough before…obviously.
4. Prometheus (2012)
This movie started SO promising. The opening scene with the alien, the first 20 minutes within the space ship, Michael Fassbender as the android David and then…well it went downhill REALLY fast. The story has so many logic errors that the really REALLY bad ending didn’t even matter
5. Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)
To be honest: ALL five “Resident Evil” movies deserve to be in this list. But I think Mila Jovovich dressed up as desert sex Barbie in this one is a winner. And it was actually the last “Resident Evil”-movie I watched to the bitter end.
6. Signs (2002)
Apart from a horrible lead actor (Mel Gibson), a story that absolutely made NO sense, let me tell you what kills the really, really bad aliens in the end: A glass of water. Yes, exactly.
7. Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
Uhm well, George Lucas thought it would be believable, that one can survive the impact of an atomic bomb by climbing into a refrigerator. So that’s what Indi did at the beginning of the movie. And that wasn’t even the worst part of that movie. To be fair, Harrison Ford and Shia LeBeouf really tried their best, but there’s only so much you can do when the storybook is completely ridiculous
13. Riddick (2013)
In “Riddick” the worshipping of Vin Diesel just goes a bit too far. I mean, most scences just involve Vin Diesel standing somewhere looking like a bad ass. The director must have been absolutely in love with his lead actor – you can particularly see the drool dripping from both sides of your TV.
Which is quite entertaining, but the rest of the story seems a bit like a bad remake of “Pitch Black” – just without all the fun and no killer-bugs.
14. Blade Trinity (2004)
On the plus side: Ryan Reynolds is shirtless a lot! And yeah…that pretty much sums it up. Wesley Snipes was so un-Blade-like in this one, for a supposed uber-vampire, Dracula was pretty weak and well Jessica Biels stoic silence didn’t help either.