What Life Is Like When You’re Just About To Graduate

*desperately Googles for a fashionable way to wear a gown*

1. People start mentioning ‘graduands’.

(Graduand: a student about to graduate.)

C’mon folks, there’s just no need.

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2. It’s getting difficult to control your excitement… you’re about to get LETTERS AFTER YOUR NAME.

Look, ma, the alphabet loves me.

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3. You feel vindicated against those who dared doubt your magnificence.

You fools!

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4. You’ve probably had to move home. Which is going… great.

Here lies your motivation to be a productive human being.

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5. Heading out in your home town? Yeah, you’re really missing uni now.

The locals? *shudder*

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6. You’ve had plenty of time to rediscover your old hobbies.

…but mostly sit flicking between Facebook, Buzzfeed and Twitter.

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7. But you’re wondering if graduating means you’re finally ‘grown up’.

Hope not. Peter Pan would be so disappointed.

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8. Everyone is talking about jobs, rent, finally becoming a functioning member of society…

Is there an emergency service for this?

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9. Which means it’s time to work on your CV…

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10. …and do a little work on your cover letter…

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11. …pinpoint the skills you’ve acquired over the years…

So many skills, so few which make you employable.

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12. …and finally realise getting that dream career is going to be tougher than you’d like.

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13. Nevertheless, armed with a fresh CV and cover letter, you hit ‘apply’ - only to be greeted by an online application form.

‘Please list all qualifications and previous work experience…’


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14. Then it hits you. This is your life now. Application, rejection, application, rejection, application…

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15. But whatever - right now, the important thing is rocking that mortarboard.

…and not falling over when you collect your degree.

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