1. The only time you know what you’re doing is when you order food.
Seriously, the food chapter was the best part of that class.
2. Counting past 10 is out of the question.
Unfortunately, this makes handling money pretty tricky.
3. You try to have a chat with a native speaker, but rarely make it past the introductions.
All of a sudden you wonder why you ever thought this was a good idea.
4. When trying to speak in the language, you use your hands way more than usual.
Now people perceive you as a much more passionate person than you actually are.
5. When frustrated, you can recall choice words that were not in the curriculum.
Yet you still struggle to ask how someone’s day was.
6. Asking directions? No problem. Understanding the answer? LOL.
These are two very, very different things.
7. When watching a foreign film, all you want is for them just to SLOW DOWN.
Alas, subtitles it is…
8. Words that are the same in both languages = the best thing ever.
It’s the one time you can actually nod in understanding and mean it.
9. But some of those common words are out to get you and “embarazado” you in front of everyone!
Especially because “embarazado” actually means “pregnant” in Spanish. You’re welcome.
10. You always talk about brushing up on your language so that you can take a trip soon.
But you never get around to reviewing your old notes, and God forbid you visit a foreign country hardly even knowing how to say “hello!”
11. And in every job interview, you secretly pray you aren’t asked about the foreign language you put on your resumé.
Especially if the interviewer is a native speaker. That would mean game over.
12. Foreign supermarkets are your own personal hell.
Everything is so cool! But what is it, exactly?
13. You’re all about living in the present (tense).
Plan for the future? Get stuck in the past? Nah, the present works just fine for me, thanks. (And don’t even think about mentioning those pretentious perfect tenses.)
14. Every time you try to say something intelligent, it ends up always being some variation of “uhhhhhh.”
Just shouldn’t have said anything, just shouldn’t have said anything…