35. Golden Corral
Pro: It’s all you can eat.
Con: You will probably lose your appetite pretty quickly.
Pro: It’s a great option for a place to go for dinner if you are joking.
Con: When someone takes you seriously, you are stuck going to the Sizzler.
Pro: There’s one in just about every town now; you can always count on Applebee’s to serve you food.
Con: You can never count on Applebee’s to serve you good food.
32. Perkins Restaurant & Bakery
Pro: If you are going to Perkins, you may well be eating with your grandparents.
Con: Perkins serves the kind of food only your grandparents like.
31. Marie Callender’s
Pro: There are pies, so many pies.
Con: Everything else on the menu.
30. Red Lobster
Pro: They have Cheddar Bay Biscuits.
Con: You have to go to Red Lobster to get Cheddar Bay Biscuits.
29. Village Inn
Pro: You can order their pies online.
Con: You just ordered one of their pies online.
28. Olive Garden
Pro: They make a great lunch if you live in Grand Forks, North Dakota.
Con: You will lose all of your Italian friends if you admit that you have eaten at the Olive Garden.
27. Carrabba’s Italian Grill
Pro: It’s not the Olive Garden.
Con: It’s pretty much the Olive Garden.
26. Romano’s Macaroni Grill
Pro: It’s a slightly better Olive Garden.
Con: It’s only slightly better than the Olive Garden.
25. Chevys Fresh Mex
Pro: It seems more authentic than the other Mexican options.
Con: It has the same level of authenticity of any Mexican option.
24. Outback Steakhouse
Pro: The Bloomin’ Onion is pretty much the best appetizer ever.
Con: Customers drinking Foster’s pretentiously.
23. Bob Evans
Pro: The breakfast is great and it’s served all day.
Con: They have non-breakfast items.
Pro: Bottomless Steak Fries.
Con: You nervously wonder if they serve robin.
21. Bubba Gump Shrimp Company
Pro: If you are trying to get in a Broadway cast, chances are Bubba Gump has provided you with the ability to pay your rent.
Con: All of the most popular Forrest Gump quotations are everywhere.
20. T.G.I. Friday’s
Pro: It’s probably the best drinking option in your local airport.
Con: You are drinking alone at the airport T.G.I Friday’s.
19. Cracker Barrel Old Country Store
Pro: The rocking chairs are great when you are on a road trip.
Con: They market themselves to road trippers, but if you are eating at a chain, wouldn’t you want something faster?
18. Famous Dave’s Bar-B-Que
Pro: It’s barbecue.
Con: Barbecue from a chain seems like blasphemy.
17. Ruby Tuesday
Pro: It shares it’s name with a great Rolling Stones song.
Con: It’s not a Rolling Stones theme restaurant.
16. Joe’s Crab Shack
Pro: You can get crabs!
Con: Way too many pubic louse pun options.
15. Planet Hollywood
Pro: Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Demi Moore and Arnold Schwarzenegger were involved in founding the place.
Con: While there once more than 100 Planets Hollywood, only 8 remain to serve you Celebrity Burgers. Not one is located in Hollywood.
14. Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville
Pro: Is there a better place to have a cheeseburger in paradise?
Con: You may feel like you are wasting away.
13. Dave and Buster’s
Pro: It’s like an arcade for adults.
Con: People bring their kids.
12. Longhorn Steakhouse
Pro: It’s not that bad if you like steak.
Con: Wait? You don’t feel like steak?
11. P.F. Chang’s China Bistro
Pro: It may be unauthentic, but the food isn’t half bad!
Con: Why are you eating at P.F. Chang’s? You have to have a better Chinese option.
Pro: It’s the only restaurant where you can order fajitas with English phonetics.
Con: It’s the only restaurant where you can order fajitas with English phonetics.
9. The Cheesecake Factory
Pro: As expected, the cheesecakes are pretty good.
Con: They serve you so much food, you never have room for dessert.
Pro: Dinner with a show!
Con: You really just wanted sushi.
7. Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar
Pro: It’s about as reliable as any restaurant for having your preferred sporting event on television.
Con: The pegasus bison in their logo is not a real animal.
6. The International House of Pancakes (IHOP)
Pro: You are no longer that hungover.
Con: You have one friend who is strangely obsessed with the place and you don’t know why.
5. Hard Rock Café
Pro: If you find yourself overseas desperate for a reasonable American meal, the Hard Rock Café is probably your best bet.
Con: Can you handle being labeled as a tourist?
4. Rainforest Café
Pro: At this point, the Rainforest Café is so theme oriented, it’s like visiting the 1990s more than visiting a rainforest.
Con: They don’t have SURGE available to drink.
Pro: They will put bacon on just about anything.
Con: It’s still Denny’s.
2. Uno Chicago Grill
Pro: Despite what Jon Stewart says, Chicago Style Pizza is good.
Con: This is probably the best deep dish pizza option that you have if you don’t live near Chicago.