1. Your favorite hockey team makes the playoffs.
While the playoff beard concept has been adopted in other sports, it’s really a hockey thing. For the sake of this piece we’ll focus on the NHL.
2. You have the internal struggle: To grow or not to grow?
Will I look good with a beard? Will my boss hate me? Will I get too hot?
3. You finally decide: it’s the year of the beard.
We’re doing this, it’s playoff beard time!
4. You find yourself a beard buddy.
If we do it together, maybe people wont think we’re so weird.
6. Your beard starts to show.
This 5 o’clock shadow makes me look distinguished; I will be rocking the full playoff locks in no time.
7. You wonder how long it will take for you to look like you belong in ZZ Top.
It’ll be to my waist by the time we are in the conference finals!
8. Things get itchy.
You start to question your decision making process.
9. The first round of the playoffs ends, hopefully your team is still in.
Let’s give credit where credit’s due, and credit is due to my beard.
10. Your beard isn’t filling in the way you wanted it too yet.
What do I have to do to look like an adult? Does Rogaine work on beards?
11. You coworkers/classmates become concerned for your well being.
You may hear them whispering about whether you are having a personal crisis, but they don’t quite know how to bring it up to you.
12. Your significant other demands that you shave.
You seriously consider ending the relationship.
13. Your team makes it to the conference finals!
No going back, beardo
14. You cannot stop touching your face.
Look at me with all this facial hair
15. You start to refer to your beard by a nickname.
Bonus points if you didn’t make up the nickname yourself.
16. Your boss intervenes.
“Yes, sir/ma’am, but you do understand that I have my reasons.”
17. The beard finally looks good.
This is excellent. I am never getting rid of this awesome beard!
18. Your team makes it to the Stanley Cup Finals.
My BEARD did this! IT WAS MY BEARD!
20. Fellow fans want to touch your beard for good luck.
After a while, it becomes kind of weird having people ask whether they can touch your beard at random.
21. The beard has taken on a life of it’s own.
But… But… you just looked perfect last week, beard.
22. You’ve transformed into a historical figure/Game of Thrones Character/Average Hipster.
I swear, this is about hockey and not LARPing or artisanal cheese.
24. For a brief moment, you consider keeping your beard forever.
It’s the beard of DESTINY!