1. When the bathroom has an unexpected… shortage.
2. When you say: “Today is the day I start running no matter what.”
Even if it becomes a swim.
3. When a warning sign inspires the exact idea it is designed to prevent.
4. When a leisurely trip to the mall turns into a cross-country odyssey.
5. When you’re really hungry and really lazy.
6. When you find a Craiglist ad for a “gently used” ball pit complete with “approximately 10,000 plastic balls.”
And it’s only $1,500… This is, like, a sign.
8. When you ask to buy the biggest lobster they have.
9. When Grandma says: “I keep a little candy in the bottom drawer there.”
10. When the white elephant party bestows this heavenly gift upon you:
They’re mini… so that’s basically like health food, right?