1. Sometimes it feels like Shep is speaking for all Americans.
2. Maybe it’s because he grew up in a place that’s not much different from our own hometowns.
3. Or because he celebrates Thanksgiving just like the rest of us.
4. Perhaps it’s his very Ron Swansonesque perspective on breakfast.
5. Or his fair and balanced approach to animal lovers.
6. Whatever it is, we really dig Shep. His idea of retirement is pretty stellar.
7. So is his huge TV.
8. JUST LOOK AT THIS THING.
9. And his giant new iPad is just about as American as you can get.
10. Shep is America’s favorite cable news host because he’s honest about his career.
11. And his vices.
12. And he doesn’t like to be a downer.
14. Like America, Shep loves his trashy TV shows.
15. And he can spot a fail a mile away.
16. The man has no time for foolishness.
17. Or Kim Jong-un.
18. Or the cell phone companies.
19. Or the soda-pop haters.
20. And he never dances around the issues.
21. Did we mention that Shep is very charming?
22. I mean, just look at this.
Shepard Smith, America salutes you!
Contact Dorsey Shaw at firstname.lastname@example.org