25 Reasons To Give "The Godfather Part III" Another Shot

It’s not all bad. It’s just mostly bad. Note: Contains spoilers!

1. For starters, there is a great tour of Sicily in The Godfather Part III.

Paramount Pictures / Via youtube.com

This is only fun if you’ve somehow forgotten that you got a similar tour in Part I. And a back-in-time look at Vito Corleone’s hometown in Part II.

2. You’ll see an aged Diane Keaton.

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3. Plus an aged Al Pacino.

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4. And a severely aged Al Pacino.

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5. There are flashbacks to earlier (better) parts of the saga.

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Poor Fredo.

6. You’ll see a conflicted Kay reminisce on good times.

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And you will reminisce along with her as you recall how amazing the first two films were.

7. For example, remember how happy the Corleone family was in Part I?

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Well just look at how, ehem, “happy” they are in Part III.

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Maybe they knew what we later found to be true: everything looks better in hindsight. Especially while you’re watching The Godfather Part III.

8. Sofia Coppola acts super desperate in this film.

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Which is 10% entertaining and 90% annoying.

9. You’ll develop a hatred for her so deep you will wish she was dead.

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You won’t be alone. Coppola — who filled the role of Mary Corleone when Winona Ryder left the project — is blamed as one of the reasons this film was so negatively received.

10. Part III takes us back to a time when Catholic leaders weren’t the best role models.

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Pre-pre-pre-Pope Francis. Remember those days?

11. Wardrobe still doesn’t know how to dress Diane Keaton’s character.

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Recall Part I.

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Points for the hat, though.

Then Part II.

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And Part III. See? This movie isn’t all that different from the other two.

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Poor Kay.

12. Michael Corleone is sickened by regret, and you’ll feel the slightest bit bad for him.

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Oh, no wait. His diabetes sent him to the hospital. Nevermind. #karma

13. Where do you think Mike Tyson got his most effective moves?

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The Godfather Part III of course.

14. You’ll realize who is really pulling the strings.

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Way to go Connie for finally getting your shit together.

15. What other movie shows someone giving a death order just before kneeling at the cross?

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You get three guesses and the first two don’t count.

16. A boardroom full of greedy Dons are gunned down by masked men in a helicopter.

Paramount Pictures / Via youtube.com / movieclips.com

What’s better than that?

17. This movie even has lessons on making gnocchi the sexiest way possible.

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And it IS sexy. Until you realize Vincent and Mary are cousins.

COUSINS!

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18. You’ll watch Andy Garcia become perhaps the hottest Godfather yet.

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Oh, hang on.

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Is it too late to take that back?

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19. Maybe he wasn’t the hottest of the Godfathers, but this movie will remind you that Andy Garcia was once rather sexy.

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20. Seeing the look on the priest’s face when Michael Corleone finally confesses his sins is reason enough to see The Godfather Part III.

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“Your sins are terrible” = understatement of the century.

21. You’ll see Connie kill ‘em with kindness.

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It’s hard to resist those cannolis, huh Don Altobello?

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22. A man is murdered with HIS OWN GLASSES in this movie.

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Does it get more gangster?

23. If you make it to the end, your Sofia-hatred will finally be satisfied.

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Die with your distracting California accent! Good thing she directs better than she acts.

24. Plus, her death is followed by one of the most heartbreaking screams in cinematic history.

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Just watch.

25. Above all, this film reminds us that a daughter should never be punished for her father’s mistakes.

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Giulio Marcocchi/Stringer / Getty Images

 

Deep.

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