1. Judgment Day Spam Balls
Ah, Spam, everyone’s favorite precooked canned meat. With just a dash of creativity, you can turn this bunker staple from “eww” to “oh-la-la.”
2 cans of Spam
6 Ritz crackers or similar
2 tablespoons liquid egg substitute
1 20-ounce can crushed pineapple
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons corn starch
1/2 cup white vinegar
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
For the meatballs: crush the two cans of Spam, and combine with crushed crackers and egg substitute. Form into meatballs and cook for 15 minutes at 375 degrees.
For the sauce: add all ingredients together (except meatballs) and bring to low boil. When it thickens add meatballs. Simmer for an hour.
2. Fallout Shelter Sushi
Your glory days taking the clients out to lavish sushi dinners will be long gone once dust and devastation settle upon planet Earth, but this sweet treat will at least spike your blood sugar levels enough to help you forget, at least for a bit.
1 package Twinkies or similar
1 package assorted Fruit Leather like Fruit by the Foot
Assorted gummy candies
Slice the twinkies in thirds, wrap with fruit leather and pop your favorite candy on top for a sweet treat.
3. Cheesy Armageddon Rice
Comfort food is gonna have to be extra comforting once you’re hunkering down waiting for the nuclear fallout to pass. Synthetic cheese and durable rice combine for a warm, food-coma inducing dish that will appease your worried, post-apocalyptic mind.
1.5 cups water
2 cups instant white rice, uncooked
6 ounces Velveeta or other processed cheese, cut in large chunks
1 can Ro*tel or other canned tomatoes & diced green chilies
Bring water to boil in medium saucepan on medium-high heat. Stir in rice, Velveeta and Ro*tel. Reduce heat to low. Cook and stir until cheese is completely melted, stirring frequently. Cover. Remove from heat. Let stand 5 to 7 minutes or until creamy.
4. Financial Collapse Carrot Cake
Well, crap, the world’s economies never recovered and you’ve been left in a violent hellscape governed by gun-toting gangsters and wild animals. But don’t worry! You can still enjoy a sweet slice of cake in the safety of your secure underground living space.
1 package carrot cake mix
1 cup water
3/4 cup egg substitute
1/2 cup oil
15 Fig Newtons (chopped)
1/2 cup shredded coconut
2 cups sugar
3 tablespoons citrus juice (if available)
Preheat oven to 350°F. Place cake mix, water, egg product and oil in large bowl. Beat with electric mixer on medium speed until well blended. Stir in chopped cookies and coconut. Pour into greased 13x9 inch baking pan. Bake 25 to 28 minutes. Cool completely. Mix powdered sugar and juice until well blended. Drizzle over cake.
5. Bulletproof Lentil Loaf
Just because you’re trapped underground waiting for planet Earth to implode doesn’t mean you can’t get some healthy foods in your diet. This lentil loaf is even Vegan, in case you’ve taken some difficult friends into your bunker with you.
2 cups cooked lentils
1 cup walnuts
2 cups crackers (crushed, any type)
2 cups frozen or canned mixed vegetables
1/4 teaspoon garlic salt
4 tablespoons canned apple sauce
2 tablespoons catchup
Mix all the ingredients together, pack into a pan and top with catchup. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes.
6. Catastrophe Skewers
Ragnarök has arrived but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a good ol’ fashion BBQ like back in the day when the sun was still shining. Our reliable friend Spam comes out to play again for a tangy island dish so delicious you might even feel transported to a tropical place when you close your eyes, but probably not.
1 can Spam (cubed)
1 can pineapple chunks
1/3 cup barbecue sauce
Prepare grill for high heat or heat broiler. Alternately thread Spam and pineapple onto pre-soaked wood skewers. Grill or broil, turning frequently, 5 minutes or until lightly browned and heated thoroughly. Brush kabobs with barbecue sauce just before serving.
7. Bunker Truffles
Nothing is more comforting than a big dose of chocolate, especially after you’ve witnessed Armageddon with your own two eyes, so eat up!
1 package Oreos, divided
1 package cream cheese, softened
2 packages baking chocolate, melted
Crush 9 of the cookies to fine crumbs; reserve for later use. Crush remaining 36 cookies to fine crumbs; place in medium bowl. Add cream cheese; mix until well blended. Roll cookie mixture into 42 balls, about 1-inch in diameter. Dip balls in chocolate; place on wax paper-covered baking sheet. Sprinkle with reserved cookie crumbs. Refrigerate until firm.
8. Four Horsemen’s Noodles
Nothing says “we’re gonna make it after all!” more than the sound of loudly slurping noodles, right? Slap some spaghetti, peanut butter and a few other things together and the morale in your bunker will shoot through the thick cement roof.
3/4 pound spaghetti
2 tablespoons freeze-dried scallions
1 cup canned green peas (optional)
1/2 cup chunky peanut butter
3 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil
Cook the pasta according to the package directions, adding the peas during the last 5 minutes of cooking. Meanwhile puree the peanut butter, vinegar, soy sauce, sugar, sesame oil, and ½ cup water until smooth. In a large bowl, toss the pasta with peanut dressing. Serve sprinkled with pre-soaked scallions.
9. Sole Survivor Rollups
Gather your whole rescued family together for the fun of making these fun rolled up sandwiches! The gloom and devastation happening outside will (almost) evaporate when you bite into these tender finger foods.
8 slices Wonder Bread
1/2 can golden mushroom soup
4 ounces Velveeta cheese, cut into small strips
12 strips of Spam, cut thin
Remove crust from bread; cut each slice into thirds. Using a pastry brush, spread each piece generously with soup. Top with cheese. Lay each piece of bread on 1/2 slice of room temperature, uncooked Spam, roll like a jelly roll, and set on baking sheet, seam down. Use a toothpick if necessary to keep them firmly together. Bake at 300 degrees about 30 minutes or until well browned.
10. Doomsday Jell-O Shooters
Liquor and jello never go bad, and you’ll certainly want something to break up the monotony in the bunker once in a while. Don’t forget to pour one out for the homies who didn’t make it to safety in time.
1 cup boiling water
1 cup vodka or other alcohol
1 small box Jell-O, any flavor
Pour Jell-O into a bowl. Add boiling water, stirring until the gelatin is dissolved. Stir in vodka. Pour into shot glasses, molds, or a baking pan. Refrigerate until the liquid sets.