Zombie Apocalypse Begins In Florida

That man eating another man’s face was only the end of an escalation.

May 17th, 2012

In Hollywood, Florida twelve students and two teachers break out into a rash at MacArthur High School. HazMat is brought in but no cause of the outbreak is found. A video on Huffington Post on the story seems to have been taken down.

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The Florida Public Health and Medical Department arrived at the school alongside fire departments. Those affected showered in an area set up outside the school before being transported in a plastic-lined school bus to Memorial Regional Hospital, reports the Miami Herald, where they walked through two inflatable halls by gender, showered again, and placed their clothing in orange bags.

May 19th, 2012

A still unknown chemical is released into the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. Three TSA agents and two passengers are taken to the emergency room with respiratory problems.

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May 24th, 2012

Lauderdale Lakes Middle school, approximately 15 miles from MacArthur High, is put on lock down and HazMat called in when two students and a science teacher come down with mysterious red rashes.

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May 25th, 2012

A passenger aboard American Airlines flight 320 becomes disoriented upon landing in Miami, ignores flight crew instructions to remain in his seat and rushes the front of the plane before being subdued by fellow passengers. The man had no prior known history of violence.

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May 25th, 2012

HazMat is called in for bus passengers headed to Minneola Charter Elementary in Minneola, Florida when 27 children and adults complain of not feeling well. Household cleaner used on the bus is blamed but all parties are still decontaminated with hoses by officials.

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May 25th, 2012

An anesthesiologist is pulled over on the Central Florida Greenway by highway patrol for erratic driving. After failing a sobriety test, the doctor is placed into the back of a cop car where he becomes agitated and enraged, banging his head against the inside of the car until he bleeds and ends up spitting an entire mouthful of blood into the face of the arresting officer.

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May 26th, 2012

On the MacArthur Causeway, 20 miles from where the mysterious rashes appeared on students less than two weeks before, a man is attacked and partially EATEN by a drug addict. When approached by police, the attacker merely growls and continues his grisly meal. Authorities end up unloading half a clip into the man before he falls dead the ground. The victim is still unconscious.

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Bugs Bunny has the right idea.

Thanks to Wil Wheaton for pointing out this terror.