"Trek And The City" Twitter Parody Is Exactly What It Sounds Like

Who knew Starfleet language was so dirty? If this premise isn’t a SyFy series by the end of the year, I’ll eat my hat. posted on

1.

Needless to say, the Prime Directive wasn't the only thing Samantha violated that night.

2.

The photon torpedo had created a wormhole big enough for the ship to pass through, but Marcus's deceit had torn a hole in Stanford's heart.

3.

Samantha was stunned to learn that pon farr occurred just once every seven years; her insatiable urge to mate kicked in after three Cosmos.

4.

He may have been a holographic projection driven by advanced computer algorithms, but he was more real than any man I had ever known.

5.

The Universal Translator could decipher countless alien languages, but I was still no closer to understanding Big.

6.

The Borg may have added Stanford's biological and technological distinctiveness to their own, but they could never take his fabulousness.

7.

A party of Klingons had taken the bridge, but as Samantha saw it, being taken by Klingons was always a party.

8.

Charlotte was devastated. If we could successfully engage Species 8472 in diplomacy, she wondered, then why couldn't Harry pop the question?

9.

The vacuum of space may be lonely, but space has nothing on a single girl waiting by her phone on a Friday night.

10.

"Things run better with a good-looking man in charge," Samantha said. "Look at Khan. No one wanted to fuck him, so he fucked everyone."

11.

As we sealed the Bridge and transferred remaining power to engineering, I wondered - who really had the power in Big's and my relationship?

12.

Much like the hull on Decks 2, 5 and 11, Aidan's trust for me was irreparably breached.

13.

If Stanford had learned one thing during his time on the ship, it was this: Never fall for a security officer in a red shirt.

14.

Charlotte despaired that the only thing less hospitable than the Demon Class planet's surface was her own uterus

15.

The modified Borg nanoprobes were loaded into the warhead, but in Holodeck 1, Samantha was experiencing a very different kind of probe.

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