12 Things Young Parents Are Tired Of Hearing

Yes, we started early. Yes, we can see you doing mental math and subsequently judging us.

1. Awwww, is this your little sister/brother?

This fine specimen of humanity is the product of unprotected sex between me and my partner.

ID: 1577840

2. How old are you?

Old enough to know that’s a rude-ass question.

ID: 1577822

3. Were they happy accidents or planned?

Is there a right way to answer this?

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4. Is the baby’s father/mother still in the picture?

Nope, much like the praying mantis, the young parent eats their mate after conception to show dominance.

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5. Did you consider alternatives when you found out you were pregnant?

Well yeah, I mean we thought about exposing the fetus to radiation in hopes of birthing a superhero but it was like a 50% chance it’d turn into a villain. Not worth it, am I right?

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6. Man, I just don’t think I was mature enough for kids at your age.

Good thing you didn’t have them then.

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7. Isn’t it irresponsible to have kids before you’re financially secure?

If everyone waited until financial security to have kids, the human species would be extinct.

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8. It must be nice to have all that energy!


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9. I don’t think I can handle being friends with you now that you’re a parent.

Kids: the ultimate early asshole detection system.

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10. Don’t you feel like you’re missing out on your youth?

You mean going to animated movies in theaters, playing hide-and-seek, having pancakes for dinner, building a blanket fort, getting back into coloring, and trading Pokemon cards? Because that’s what we did last weekend.

ID: 1577956

11. Oh wow, you could be a grandparent in your forties!

And that’s a bad thing why? My kids will be in college when yours are in kindergarten.

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12. How do you manage everything?

With faith, trust, and pixie dust. Also a day planner, like everyone else.

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Sure things might be rough going now…BUT!

One day our friends will all be at PTA meetings while we’re drinking margaritas with our adult kids on a cruise.

ID: 1578837

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