Things You Will Never Hear Gamers Say And Other Links

Friendship and companionable competition? Not on my watch. Plus, NASA has a full-time scientist dedicated to calming people down and some awesome abstract self-portraits.

NASA has a scientist on staff that has one job, to answer thousands of emails from people concerned about the world ending. - [TheAtlanticWire]

Some of the tiniest things doctors do can save...or end...your life. - [Cracked]

A dog is being a hailed as a hero after finding a doctor who'd been missing since Labor Day weekend. - [NBC]

Everything you ever wanted to know about working as a phone sex operator but were too afraid to ask. - [TheFrisky]

Can you guess which tattoo belong to which famous model? - [TheDailyBeast]

Carey Mulligan in on the cover of a magazine in a plum pant suit, looks amazing. - [JustJared]

The 10 bad movies that define "bad movies". - [MentalFloss]

Are you less MTV than SUV these days? Here's a primer on who all these darn kids are at the VMAs tonight. - [HLN]

Proof that crazy, abstract self-portraits don't HAVE to utilize photoshop. - [Flavorwire]

Headline Story: And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Click through to see 12 more things gamers wouldn't be caught dead saying. - [Dorkly]