Start a heparin drip, transfuse two units of blood, and hang three antibiotics in a patient with no IV access? No problem!
2. Suppress their rage.
3. Hold their bladder.
Bathroom breaks are like the cigarette breaks of nursing.
4. Tell crazy work stories.
Because your work stories don’t involve rectal tubes, PCP intoxication, and/or getting puked on… or at least not all three.
6. Tell when you’re lying.
Because they’ve heard it all before.
7. Not overreact.
Because they’ve seen it all before.
8. Restore your tired Pokémon to full health.
9. Write endlessly.
The great American novel is buried somewhere in stacks and stacks of nursing notes.
10. Get blood stains out of clothes.
Unless you’re a serial killer… in which case, you might be better.
Fabric tape fixes everything warm ginger ale doesn’t.
12. Keep a straight face.
You put what where?
13. Humble brag.
Savings lives is so stressful, you guys.