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14 Everyday Things Nurses Can Do Better Than You

Because nurses are I.V. leaguers.

1. Multitask.

Start a heparin drip, transfuse two units of blood, and hang three antibiotics in a patient with no IV access? No problem!

2. Suppress their rage.

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See #1.

3. Hold their bladder.

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Bathroom breaks are like the cigarette breaks of nursing.

4. Tell crazy work stories.

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Because your work stories don’t involve rectal tubes, PCP intoxication, and/or getting puked on… or at least not all three.

5. Suppress their gag reflex.

See #4.

6. Tell when you’re lying.

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Because they’ve heard it all before.

7. Not overreact.

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Because they’ve seen it all before.

8. Restore your tired Pokémon to full health.

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Wait, what?

9. Write endlessly.

The great American novel is buried somewhere in stacks and stacks of nursing notes.

10. Get blood stains out of clothes.

Unless you’re a serial killer… in which case, you might be better.

11. Improvise.

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Fabric tape fixes everything warm ginger ale doesn’t.

12. Keep a straight face.

You put what where?

13. Humble brag.

Savings lives is so stressful, you guys.

14. Regular brag.

Because nurses are amazing.

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