That lil' heifer's goin' back to the farm!

From the get-go, the crime she described was epic in it's cheesiness: 1) A politically useful “big, scary black man” held her up for 2) an amount she couldn't recall, then 3) became enraged when he saw her bumper sticker. (She walked him to her car?) then 4) he immobilized her (no wilting violet, this hefty she-beast) while 5) she calmly allowed him to cut 6) a calmly-composed complete B 7) backwards (wtf?) on her face with apparently 8) a dull nailfile; while the perp (politically useful) again 9) makes the pretext of the crime overt by saying “I'm going to show you what we do to McCain voters” Oh for f*ck's sake honey, get back on your meds, and buy yourself the biggest diesel-powered vibrator you can find!  Although a massive victory Nov 4th is virtually assured, I don't even care if we Dems win. It's been so useful having these wretched conservative asses expose themselves for the desperate morons they are, and parade all this evidence of their “superior morality.” Kind of funny that someone so conservative lies so liberally…

I get the outrage and the schadenfreude, but geez I feel sorry for this girl.  Being crazy is tough, and being crazy in a cry-for-attention way is sadly quite common, but having that blow up into sudden intense national scrutiny must hit like a ton of bricks.

I'm impressed that yesterday upon seeing the story here, I immediately thought “that B is backwards…this bitch did it in the mirror!” I feel so validated right now. Thank you, rest of the world.