18 Things Jewish Guys Love

The 18 things that Jewish Guys love, fueled by Jewish pride, guilt, and Nice Jewish Boy sexiness.

1. Natalie Portman

She's hot, she's cute, she seems like your mother would love her, she's hot, and she's Jewish!

2. The Greatest Punk Rock Song of All Time

No better way to get pumped up for Shabbat.

3. The Tough Jews of Murder, Inc.

The book Tough Jews embellishes the few Jewish figures at the turn of the 20th century that were at the top of the underworld usually reserved for Italian immigrants. These men, until they start going down in the last chapters, outwardly portray the Jewish 'toughness' present within us (albeit in an illegal sort of not very Jewish like way). They were villains, but they were our villains.

4. The Channukah Song

What a song. Thanks Adam.

5. The Jewish Intellect

We take pride in our intellectuality.

The people on this list validate our pride.

6. Shiksas

They can be incredibly hot, are debatably more fun, and are good for 'practice'.

7. The Talk

When 'practice' makes perfect, the inevitable talk with mom letting her know "It's okay, she's going to convert."

8. Our Brew

Even though we'll always get down with a bottle of Manishewitz, we're men and men are meant to love beer. That said, someone was nice enough to make a brew for the Brews. L'Chaim!

9. Smoking in Israel

In what seems like the quintessential Israeli activity, is there anything better than smoking cigarettes in Israel.

10. The Beastie Boys

The coolest Jews in music. Who'd have thunk 3 nice Jewish guys from New York could take on the Hip-Hop World and stay on top for so long.

11. Jewish Jewelry

Whether it was a Chai, Star of David, Mezuzah or Hamsa, we've all at one point donned one on a gold or silver chain. It's our tattoo.

12. Bar Mitzvahs

Where we became men and where we made our first money. It's our Rite of Passage and we fucking killed it.

13. Basketball at the JCC

Save for a few, athletically gifted we are not, but at the JCC, we are kings.

14. Sandy Koufax

On our most sacred day, our most sacred sportsman stood up for what's sacred.

15. The Western Wall

At our spiritual ground zero, we put our wishes and prayers on a note, folded it up and put it in a crack in the wall and have never felt so connected.

16. The IDF

The 'real' Tough Jews. These men and women protect our homeland with a vigor and toughness that no people can match and are among the first arrivals to help disaster victims around the world. We thank you.

17. Israel

With unmatched resilience, our little country, stuck in a hotbed of fanaticism and hate, has become a world leader in technology, economics, social issues and so much more.

We love it because it's ours.

Mazal Tov!