This is worse than Family Circus.
This is worse than Family Circus.
While we’re at it, stop thinking that Twenty-something is “quarter-life”, unless you really plan to live to 100. Average life expectancy puts quarter-life at about 18.
Gremlins gets another mention for Phoebe Cates’ “That’s how I found out there was no S____ C_____” speech.
Nice… all of my favorites are in the top five! (until Science changes its mind again and says kale causes Panamanian Butt Cancer)
If you don’t know how Roman Numerals work, don’t get a Roman Numerals tattoo.
I HATE when that happens!
“I couldn’t love you any less if I tried.” Out of context, that sounds like a devastating thing to say to someone.
Great, now I want a bratwurst.
OK, I get it… we’re being trolled by Warner Bros.
I wonder if The Oatmeal has seen this?
It wasn’t very effective.
Cleaning egg off your house typically involves a pressure washer, which demolishes housepaint. My money says Bieber OD’s before he’s 25.
I got the Deleted Comments.
Seriously, F Dan Snyder.
I was thinking the same thing.
Coconut oil is also awesome in handmade soap.
Whenever you see something strange with continuity, a wizard did it.
Pretty sure they also set the world record for collective shrinkage.
I bet he starts a lot of sentences with the words, “I’m not racist, but…”
He’s doing her.
#3 For every fashion expert who says the pocket square should not match the tie, there’s another who says that it absolutely must. Conclusion: Wear what you feel looks good on you.
#4 That’s not procrastination, that’s abject laziness. Remind me later to tell you how I know.
I liked most of Rob Zombie’s movies, but “Lords of Salem” is one of the worst, most boring, most pointless movies I’ve ever seen. Don’t waste your time on that dreck.
Put his parents in jail, then.
Nice! I’ve been turgid for Wonder Woman since Lynda Carter played her on TV. This actress should be a good fit.
This is what I show to people who refer to the NFL as “American Armoured Wankball”. At least our sportsmen don’t clutch their faces in pain when someone steps on their toes.
My Theory: Brian was driving the car that hit him. Stay with me on this one: Something terrible happened to Stewie, and it was Brian’s fault. Feeling guilty, Brian finds another time machine, goes back, and runs himself down to save Stewie. That was totally his Prius that demolished him.
Today I learned that there is a five year old who has better handwriting than I do.
Remember, in the event of a dildo, it’s company policy to never imply ownership. Always say, “a” dildo, never “your” dildo.
It sure is comforting to know he’s got the kind of free time it takes to work on something like this.
Achievement Unlocked: Jerked it to Bayonetta 2
Spend one day having external gonads, and then tell me how I should sit.
#9 I’d bet good money this is a page from “Joy of Cooking”
Suspension of disbelief. You know the rollercoaster is designed to be perfectly safe, but I bet you still put your hands up and scream in the loop-de-loop.
#5 Yes, I have a list. Now you have one extra person in line instead of seven, and my friends all get what they wanted. If you don’t like making sandwiches at your sandwich making job, the Army is always hiring.
Mmmm…. yoga mat…
I love the look on the guy’s face. “Are you guys seeing this? It’s not just me, right? I fncking LOVE that this is happening!”
Most of their sex tips qualify as sexual battery. Cosmo’s ideas of appropriate things to do to a penis are as well-informed as a ten year old boy who thinks girls pee out of their butts.