1. Silver Linings Playbook is My Boyfriend is a Psycho!
Not sure the term “silver linings” exists in this wonderfully fatalistic language, so one has to approximate.
2. No Strings Attached is More than Just Sex
Casual sex, or “sex without obligation” as it’s called, is not popular in Russia so it makes sense that this would be a difficult concept to translate or explain.
3. He’s Just Not That into You is A Promise Does Not a Marriage Make
Forget dating. If he likes it then he better put a ring on it.
4. The Five-Year Engagement is A Little Bit Married
And then rush off to get a marriage certificate because this “engagement” thing is just plain procrastination.
5. Friends with Kids is Kids Don’t Get in the Way of Sex
Always good when the title shamelessly undermines the film’s message.
6. A Walk to Remember is Hurry Up and Fall in Love
A little pushy, but in the context of the film, pretty solid advice.
7. Dan in Real Life is Falling in Love With Your Brother’s Wife
Thank you for totally giving away the plot.
8. Big Miracle is Everybody Loves Whales
Let’s just toss out the lofty metaphors and say what we really mean, shall we?
9. Jobs is Empire of Temptation
Because that’s what we all think of when we think of advanced software: TEMPTATION.
10. Lawless is The Drunkest Country in the World
Clearly a variation on the title of the book, “The Wettest Country in the World.” Again, let’s just say what we really mean.
11. Country Strong is I’m Leaving - Don’t Cry
Simple and to the point.
12. Die Hard is A Tough Nut
Whatever, same thing.
13. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective is A Hunter of Domestic Animals
“Pet” is clearly the problem here.
14. Adventureland is Park of Culture and Leisure
Similarly, there’s no direct translation for amusement park, and in fact “roller coasters” in Russian are “American hills.”
15. Maid in Manhattan is Madame Maid
There was nothing to do about the pun.
16. Make Out With Violence is My girlfriend is a Zombie
Hmm, is this a horror movie or a rom-com?
17. Raising Helen is A Trendy Mommy
18. Salmon Fishing in the Yemen is The Fish of my Dreams
The Notebook is A Diary of Memories
And then there are some movies that are so beautiful they sound even better in another language.