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27 Totally Baffling Russian Signs

Do not, under any circumstances, toboggan on the toilet.

1. Beware of angry goats on skateboards.

2. And ninja stripper enthusiasts.

Direct Translation: “Attention! Look after your valuables!”

3. And humans.

Direct translation, “Attention! The dog is mean, and the owner is even worse.”

4. Do not go fishing in your hotel toilet.

5. Be mindful of wandering hedgehogs.

6. Kindly insert anal rope before putting on your skis.

New Olympic sport, come enjoy fun. #SochiProblems #Sochi2014

— Sochi Problems (@SochiProblems)

7. Be conscious of men bearing martini glasses.

Direct translation: “Drunk pedestrians.”

8. When digging, please assist anyone accidentally buried alive.

9. If your child is misbehaving, feed her to alligators.

10. Dominatrixes should not merge legs.

11. Do not drop anchor here.

12. Do not toboggan into restaurants.

No toboggan in restaurants, this is law. #SochiProblems #Sochi2014

— Sochi Problems (@SochiProblems)

13. Do not ride headless horse.

14. NO TROMBONES ALLOWED.

15. Smoking rabbits WILL be subject to bear BDSM.

Direct Translation: “Be careful with fire in the forest.”

16. Don’t disturb the neighborhood tigers.

Direct Translation: “Careful, there are tigers nearby!”

17. Or the sassy cheetahs.

Direct translation: “Careful, cats!”

18. Beware of spirits suffering from electric shock.

19. And also tanks.

20. Do not rollerblade topless while wearing sunglasses and eating ice-cream.

Clearly, this combination happens a lot.

21. Warning: cowboy police ahead.

22. Be mindful of littering.

Direct Translation: “Throw garbage here - Die by Shovel.”

23. Really mindful.

Direct Translation: “Throw garbage here - Get hit in the face with a boot.”

24. Turn left for purple elephants, go straight for pink giraffes.

25. When asking for the bathroom, adopt this position.

Who need washroom very badly? #SochiProblems #Sochi2014

— Sochi Problems (@SochiProblems)

26. Do not flush toilet paper down toilet, or better yet, take it with you!

Sochi's toilet adventures continue! (Pic: @wyshynski)

— SB Nation (@sbnation)

27. And always keep in mind this great motivational sign.

Direct translation, “Anyone who drowns will no longer get to swim in the ocean. “

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