The Characters From “Party Down” React To The Hot Messes Of “Party Down South”

Blasphemy! Though shalt not take the name “Party Down” in vain!

1. “Party Down South” is a new reality show from the creator of “Jersey Shore,” that premiered on CMT tonight. It takes all the sex, booze, and fighting that made “Jersey Shore” a hit and combines it with America’s new Redneck obsession.

Admittedly, I didn’t watch “Party Down South” tonight (I was busy watching Community and Parks & Rec), but I’m personally offended by the title of the show, because for a tenth of a second I thought it was some amazing Netflix spin-off of “Party Down,” that I didn’t realize was happening, only to have my dreams decimated, upon watching this trailer.

3. I’m just like…

4. They pee on each other.

6. They’re not worried about getting splinters in their cooters.

8. They drink and sweat a lot.

10. They use words like “britches” instead of “pants.”

11. It all makes you sorta want to kill them…

…but it gets so much worse.

12. “Trashy is so much funner.”

14. They get all high and mighty.

16. They pour Hydrogen Peroxide down their urethra’s to help fight the onset of STDs.

20. But then they convince potential Congressmen to do keg stands…

21. …which is actually pretty funny.

22. So you’re like, “Okay, Country Music Television, I’ll play your little game… What else y’all got for me?”

23. You begin to relate: “Whiskey makes me frisky too!” you say.

27. Suddenly, it’s like “Aww, they’re a dysfunctional little family. I’m still judging them, but OMF-ing-G SO FUN!”

28. We’ve clearly got a new cultural phenomenon on our hands.

…And we should all be deeply ashamed. ‘Mericuh.

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