#Randering 101

Everything you need to know about Rand Paul’s week in six seconds

1. Rand Paul’s trying to be a new kind of Republican.

But his “new Republican” record sounds a whole lot like…any old Republican.

For example…

2. He says he’s leading the charge on “outreach.”

“We can’t be the party that appears not to like to people because they’re immigrants” – Rand Paul

3. But he runs away from DREAMers.


4. And hangs out with his buddy Steve King.

(Who just before that handshake had questioned if President Obama could pass a citizenship test.)

5. He says he never supported cutting aid to Israel.

“Headlines saying ‘Rand Paul wants to end aid to Israel’ – it’s just not true” –Rand Paul

6. Except he totally did.

“End all foreign aid, including the foreign aid to Israel as well, is that right?” –Wolf Blitzer

“Yes.” – Rand Paul

7. He says “no one here wants to ban birth control.”

Except for, well, him.

He sponsored personhood legislation, which would likely ban many types of birth control, including the pill.

8. He says he doesn’t want the federal government to step in on marriage equality.

“I don’t think the federal government should tell anybody or any state government how they should decide.” –Rand Paul

Yet this week he said he’s in favor of the federal government banning it.

9. He said the government shutdown cost a lot of money.

“It costs us more money to shut the government down than to keep it open!” –Rand Paul

10. But he voted for it, prolonged it, and was one of its ringleaders from the beginning.

Just a little mid-shutdown huddle with Mitch McConnell.

Rand Paul’s saying whatever it takes for him to get elected.

12. Let’s just call it…

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