Adria’s the one who explained at great lengths that she imagined a future in which a young girl into tech today would grow up, and be tortuously exposed to dongle jokes herself (or worse!). Which is to say, she greatly embellished the impact and motivation to apply to future women who may not exist at all, instead of just owning it and admitting she had a problem with the jokes. She called herself Joan of Arc. I mean… seriously.
I do agree that no one should look at Adria and blame all women for who she is. But that’s… kind of the tone of the articles defending her - that ALL men need to behave better around ALL women. One doesn’t excuse the other, so the comparison is useless in either direction.
Long story short, we need to stop defending this one woman, while embracing the larger conversation that her actions have surfaced (intentionally or otherwise). It’s a lot like the 9/11 attacks to me - I’m not going to be thankful for the wars and increased security it brought about as a sort of warning call to how lax we were. Instead, I’ll mourn what we’ve lost - genuine freedoms and respectability, in exchange for what is mostly a false sense of security. Is it possible that we’re treating “women in tech” the same way? That the highlighting of the issue itself polarizes and poisons the community at large? Maybe it’s time for “People in Tech” - and everyone can join in the fun of being appreciated for what they do, not what chromosomes they carry.