1. It’s All About Accessories
When it comes to utility belts, no one matches the Caped Crusader. Grapple gun, laser, lock pick, KRYPTONITE. You name it, the man had it.
“Yeah, but he needed all those tools because he wasn’t really super.”
Exactly. He DOES need those tools. And he uses them. And he kicks more ass than Indiana Jones at a Nazi rally.
2. He wasn’t really super
Which, as many-an-interneter has pointed out before, is exactly what makes him the best. He can’t shoot web out of his hands, he doesn’t get his energy from the sun (Superman is basically a house plant in that respect), he doesn’t fly, talk to fish, or wear rings. He’s just your typical billionaire playboy crime fighter and that’s awesome.
3. He’s a billionaire playboy crime fighter
Does any other superhero have an alter-ego that comes within a mile of Bruce Wayne? Clark Kent is a near-sighted journalist, which makes him like a superhero in the way that pizza is like a vegetable. Peter Parker is a nerdy, teenage free-lance photographer which is really just a step above using Instagram. The Fantastic Four’s Thing is just the Thing in a rapey-looking trench coat.
Billionaire playboy for the win.
4. Ladies and Gentleman: Lego Batman
For your consideration.
5. Batman kills his enemies (At least he used to)
Despite what you may have heard in recent blockbuster films, Batman used to have no problem snuffing the life force out of those who crossed him. In Batman #1 he hangs a person on a noose from the Batplane. In Batman #420 he “Cask of Amontillados” a guy by leaving him to starve in an underground room. In “The Chemical Syndicate” he pushes a dude into a vat of acid.
If you mess with the bat, you get the wings. And the wings may occasionally punch you to death.
6. He’s fashion forward
That outfit is the real menace, Robin.
7. More Villains Than A “Real Housewives” Reunion
Other than fellow handsome hero James Bond, few can boast the repertoire of villainous guys and gals that Batman does. Certainly other supers have their own respectable bad guys, but no one can match the sheer volume of stand-out criminals that plague Gotham City.
(side note: who the hell is staying in Gotham after all the things that have happened to it? Move anywhere else in the world, Detroit is laughing at you).
8. He’s As Crazy As The Villains He Fights
The dark, psycho-thriller aspect of Batman’s personality is what makes him the most interesting superhero of all time. Combine him with his perfect foil, the Joker, and you’ve got some mental illnesses worthy of clinical inspection. Batman comics and movies have done an excellent job showcasing this part of the hero’s psyche, and it makes for some intensely dark moments in Bruce Wayne’s life.
9. The writers aren’t afraid to “go there”
10. He loves dogs!
Like a hybrid out of hell, Batman has his own pet, “Bat-hound” (how original), who occasionally helps him fight crime. Ace the Bat-hound was first introduced in Batman #92. The German Shepherd helps Batman and Robin catch criminals, and also wears a bat mask on his head because god forbid the other dogs find out Bat-hound’s real identity.
11. This exists