He also holds the world's record for: “Person Least Likely to be a Blood Donor.”

I guess he took the record away from the leopard guy. The leopard guy was much crazier, though.

I wonder how they get on those rather large unicycles

The confirmation process was no doubt an awkward affair for all involved.

How does one get a taintoo? I mean, he'd have to, right?

You mean 99.8%, unless he also had his thingie-lingie tattooed

I'd say 99.9% he still has to tattoo his eye-balls

Well, at least no one can beat this record, so hopefully no one will try.