The 25 Most Fedora Worthy Things That Have Ever Happened

Caution: this post might be a bit too sexy.

1. This XBOX message:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Saying “m’lady.”

2. This picture of the illustrious man behind the wheel of Le Sex Tank:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Seemingly realizing that “Sex Tank” isn’t a good enough name and adding “Le” to the equation.

3. Nathan’s compliment:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Seventeen Naruto fedoras.

4. The man’s life motto:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Four pinstriped Pokemon fedoras.

5. This gentleman’s note to his future girlfriend:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Naming your fedora “Marcus.”

6. This selfy:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: One giant fedora made out of a series of smaller fedoras.

7. This guy’s girlfriend shortlist:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Getting anime eyes tattooed on your eyelids.

8. The top floor of this dude’s house:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: This dude’s attic.

9. This man’s stark warning:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: A fedora that has the words “FUCK THE FRIENDZONE” written on the rim.

10. This dude’s intense fedora privilege:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Pretending that “fedora privilege” is a thing.

11. This conversation:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: A fedora made out of the upholstery of that couch in your parent’s basement.

12. This man’s special sex tip:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Six out of seven shirts with flames on them.

13. This frightened fashionista’s tale:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Eight fedoras made out of the fibers of every girl who ever friendzoned you.

14. This man’s special power:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Twenty-two of your grandpa’s musty-ass fedoras.

15. This heartbreaking tale:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Lamenting the plight of the “nice guys” in your Twitter bio.

16. The most uncomfortable bump ‘n’ grind ever:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Going to Chuck E Cheese and replacing the entire ball pit with old cheetos.

17. This man’s unbelievable collection:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Actually physically eating all the cheetos in that ball pit.

18. This dude’s iconic facial hair:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: A Christmas stocking shaped like a fedora, filled with fedora chocolates and maybe even some fedora gelt.

19. Robbie’s titling head:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Permanently setting your relationship status to “It’s complicated” because love is complicated, you know?

20. This as yet unproven scientific discovery:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Coming up with cute nicknames for a fedora, like “Fe-fe” and “Dorez.”

21. These hilarious jokes:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Getting your trapp pants caught on a swing while you try to jump off.

22. And this guy’s plans for the night:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: That one shirt at Hot Topic that has a squirrel with a stick and “PROTECT YOUR NUTS” written underneath it.

23. This bold claim:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Using axe body spray as a substitute for a shower.

24. This hot beach pic:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Buying a small, fedora sized trenchcoat for your fedora.

25. And Peter’s whole entire life:

Rating on the Richard Dawkin’s Scale Of Fedorability: Peter.

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