45 Reasons Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Sorry, but it just isn’t happening.

1. Because people keep doing the duck face:

2. Because burglars like this exist:

3. Because of Michael Cera’s mustache:

4. Because of adult babies:

5. Because apparently kids are doing this:

And this:

And this?

6. Because this ruins every game:

7. Because of Bruce Willis:

8. Because this person is still on the loose:

9. Because this is how the animal kingdom really is:

10. Because this is what happens when you let a tween name a street:

11. Because none of us can cook:

12. Because disaster is about to strike:

13. Because this is what Beans from “Even Stevens” looks like today:

14. Because these aren’t around anymore:

15. Because someone, somewhere, actually bought this shirt:

16. Because Jason Alexander has hair now

17. Because of this Ashton Kutcher tattoo:

18. Because Facebook is always a huge let down:

19. And so are sandcastles:

20. Because we lost this great man:

21. Because no one reads this, anyway:

22. Because the only thing that really matters is gone:

23. Because someone let this happen:

24. Because this tattoo happened:

This one too:

And this:

25. Because this happened, too:

26. Because no one can spell anymore:

27. Because pickles taste better on top of a newspaper machine:

And mayo on the bus:

28. Because no one is helping this little guy:

Or this little guy:

29. Because you don’t sound that great:

30. Because people keep taking pictures with iPads:

31. Because of fedoras:

32. Because these people are allowed on Facebook:

33. Because Snooki wrote a book:

34. Because of Nickelback:

35. Because someone let this happen:

36. Because no one helped this panda go down a slide:

37. Because not even roosters are safe anymore:

38. Because Kesha and John Travolta are the same person:

39. Because you’ll never be this lady:

40. Because of THESE THINGS:

41. Because of holograms:

42.

Because you don’t have these things:

43. Because this seagull will just steal them, anyways:

44. Because of IKEA:

45. Because Kevin Chang won’t let you:

And neither will this Zebra:

Classic Zebra move.