Before we get started, please gaze upon this majestic photo:
1. Because he was able to beat out this cat for the role of Ron Swanson:
I mean, look at that cat. That’s a manly cat.
7. He may or may not be the dark lord:
8. But, in the end, he left his dark ways behind and realized how stupid twitter was:
WITH A MUSTACHE BREAK!!!!!
Whoo, that was funny:
Now let’s get back to business.
14. Because even without facial hair, he’s still more of a man than me or you could ever be:
15. I mean, his superlative in High School was “a real stud:”
Actually, he kind of looks like Buzz Lightyear:
21. He even went blonde in “Sin City:”
23. Because he has the perfect answer to every question:
24. Because he knows more than you:
25. Because he may or may not have been the original inspiration for the Grinch:
26. Because he knows the five most important words in the English language:
Wasn’t that great? Let’s wrap this up.
- Illinois' attorney general has asked the U.S. Department of Justice's Civil Rights Division to investigate Chicago's police department. ›
- Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg says he'll give away 99% of his Facebook shares (worth $45 billion today) over the course of his life. ›
- And a Turkish court had to call in experts to determine whether a man comparing the country's president to Gollum from "Lord of the Rings" was an insult. ›