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28 Reasons Why Nick Offerman Is The Greatest Man Who Has Ever Lived

Bow before him.

Before we get started, please gaze upon this majestic photo:

Phew, that felt good. Now let’s get going:

1. Because he was able to beat out this cat for the role of Ron Swanson:

I mean, look at that cat. That’s a manly cat.

And this swan, too:

What a manly swan.

2. Because he’s full of wisdom:

3. He has a great morning routine:

4. He makes a great Dr. Seuss book:

5. His first headshot was him with a giant foam penis:

6. He’s full of experience:

7. He may or may not be the dark lord:

8. But, in the end, he left his dark ways behind and realized how stupid twitter was:

Let’s take a break. It’s time to…

WITH A MUSTACHE BREAK!!!!!

Whoo, that was funny:

Now let’s get back to business.

9. He knows how to be a man:

10. Because he is infinite:

11. Because of this picture:

12. And this one, too:

13. And don’t forget this GIF:

14. Because even without facial hair, he’s still more of a man than me or you could ever be:

15. I mean, his superlative in High School was “a real stud:”

Actually, he kind of looks like Buzz Lightyear:

16. Still, he even looks manly blowing bubbles:

17. Because he isn’t afraid to show emotion:

18. Because he makes a great jack-o-lantern:

19. And ice cream flavor:

20. He’s not afraid to go blonde:

21. He even went blonde in “Sin City:”

22. He’s also not afraid to give cornrows a try:

23. Because he has the perfect answer to every question:

24. Because he knows more than you:

25. Because he may or may not have been the original inspiration for the Grinch:

26. Because he knows the five most important words in the English language:

27. Do you know what time it is?

IT’S MEAT BREAK TIME!!!!!

Wasn’t that great? Let’s wrap this up.

28. Because HE IS AMERICA:

AND THERE’S NO DENYING THAT.

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