28 Reasons Why Nick Offerman Is The Greatest Man Who Has Ever Lived

Bow before him.

Before we get started, please gaze upon this majestic photo:

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Phew, that felt good. Now let’s get going:

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1. Because he was able to beat out this cat for the role of Ron Swanson:

I mean, look at that cat. That’s a manly cat.

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And this swan, too:

What a manly swan.

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2. Because he’s full of wisdom:

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3. He has a great morning routine:

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4. He makes a great Dr. Seuss book:

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5. His first headshot was him with a giant foam penis:

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6. He’s full of experience:

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7. He may or may not be the dark lord:

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8. But, in the end, he left his dark ways behind and realized how stupid twitter was:

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Let’s take a break. It’s time to…

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Whoo, that was funny:

Now let’s get back to business.

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9. He knows how to be a man:

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10. Because he is infinite:

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11. Because of this picture:

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12. And this one, too:

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13. And don’t forget this GIF:

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14. Because even without facial hair, he’s still more of a man than me or you could ever be:

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15. I mean, his superlative in High School was “a real stud:”

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Actually, he kind of looks like Buzz Lightyear:

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16. Still, he even looks manly blowing bubbles:

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17. Because he isn’t afraid to show emotion:

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18. Because he makes a great jack-o-lantern:

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19. And ice cream flavor:

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20. He’s not afraid to go blonde:

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21. He even went blonde in “Sin City:”

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22. He’s also not afraid to give cornrows a try:

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23. Because he has the perfect answer to every question:

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24. Because he knows more than you:

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25. Because he may or may not have been the original inspiration for the Grinch:

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26. Because he knows the five most important words in the English language:

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27. Do you know what time it is?

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Wasn’t that great? Let’s wrap this up.

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28. Because HE IS AMERICA:


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