1. First things first: You’re going to need to pay attention. Now put your fist in the center and watch everything speed up:
2. Now take a moment to reflect and be glad that this person who just got a face full of poop isn’t you:
Nor is this kid who just discovered a new dimension via puddle:
Or the man who will never be able to look at a soccer ball again:
Or somebody caught twerkin’ in all the wrong places:
3. Now you’re going to need to get focused. So first, let’s focus on this dog. Doesn’t he look like Samuel L. Jackson?
4. Now, before you start whatever you need to do, it’s best to ponder some of life’s hardest questions. Like this:
5. Now, make sure you take care of all of your outstanding e-mails and messages:
6. And make sure your house is clean:
7. It’s also time to listen to a turtle having sex with a shoe:
8. And to learn a fun fact about polar bears:
9. STAY FOCUSED! What kind of animal is this?
You don’t want to turn out like Gabe Perez, do you?
10. Now, before you get started, it’s best to visualize your dreams. Do you want to be one of these kids?
Do you want to be a pancake artist?
Or maybe you want to be like this guy?
11. You’re also probably going to want to take a new Facebook profile picture. I mean, you can’t get started if you don’t have a good Facebook profile picture, right?
12. You also probably want to make sure your hair is perfect. You can’t just go doing work without perfect hair, can you?
No, you cannot:
Now, you’re probably going to want to make a to-do list of what you plan to do after your work is done:
13. You probably want to do this:
14. Time to focus again. But first look at this fat giraffe. HOW’D THIS GIRAFFE GET SO FAT?!