A Reminder That Glass Doors Are Still The Greatest Threat Facing Humanity Today

BE WARNED. posted on

1. YOU THINK YOU’RE SAFE FROM GLASS DOORS??? THINK AGAIN:

2. GLASS DOORS DON’T CARE IF YOU EAT:

3. THEY DON’T CARE IF YOU SLEEP:

4. ALL THEY WANT IS FOR YOU TO ENTER A WORLD OF PAIN:

5. YOU THINK YOU’RE GONNA BUY SOME NEW SHOES, NUMBSKULL?? THINK AGAIN:

6. “AH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO EXIT A STORE.” NOPE:

7. DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT BEATING A DOOR AT ITS OWN GAME BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, BLOCKHEAD? YOU WILL LOSE. EVERYTIME.

8. YOU THINK THE POLICE CAN SAVE YOU? HA. HA. HA. THAT’S THREE “HA’S,” YA DOLT:

9. YOU KNOW WHAT A PERFECT DAY FOR A DOOR CONSISTS OF? CRUSHING THE SWEET, SWEET LIFE OUT OF YOU:

10. YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT ANOTHER PERFECT DAY FOR A DOOR IS? RAINING GLASS DOWN ON YOU LIKE YOU’RE LIVING IN SOME SORT OF GLASS RAINFOREST. A GLASSFOREST:

11. “MAN, I SURE LOVED BUYING ALL THOSE GOODS AT THE MALL TODAY. WOULD BE WONDERFUL TO LEAVE NOW.” NOPE:

12. LEMME GET THIS STRAIGHT. YOU’RE GOING TO GO PAY FOR YOUR GAS? I DON’T THINK SO, YA IGNORAMUS. BETTER GO ELECTRIC INSTEAD:

13. OH, SO YOU’RE INTERNATIONAL POP SENSATION JUSTIN BIEBER? GREAT. GRAND. FANTASTIC. WON’T STOP A DOOR FROM FUCKING YOUR SHIT UP:

14. OH COOL YOU’RE A CAT? THAT SHOULD SAVE YO- DON’T THINK SO:

15. AND DON’T EVEN PRETEND LIKE NO ONE SAW. BECAUSE WE ALL DID. DOORS SEE EVERYTHING:

16. EVERYTHING.

17. “BUT WHAT ABOUT REGULAR OLD DOORS? AREN’T THOSE SAFE? HMMMMMM LET’S SEE:

18. SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN TONIGHT:

19. AND MAYBE THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE A DOOR YOUR REACTION WILL BE A LITTLE MORE LIKE THIS:

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