1. Having to just smile and say, “Yeah!” after not hearing what someone just said to you.
And hoping that they were telling a joke and not announcing a death in the family.
2. Telling a waiter, “You too!” after they say to enjoy your meal.
3. Or having a conversation like: “How are you?” “Terrific! How are you?” “Not bad, you?”
4. When someone says, “Have a great day!” And you respond with:
5. And who can forget conversations like: “How are you?” “You too!”
6. Having no comeback to an insult.
And thinking of one hours later.
7. When you’re walking down a hallway and you’re forced to pretend that you don’t see someone because you can’t initiate conversation 200 feet away.
8. Thinking someone is asking you a question but realizing they’re just talking on a Bluetooth.
“HEY, HOW ARE YOU!?” “Uh…good, I guess — oh.”
9. Most hugs, and especially ones that last way over the M.H.T. (maximum hug time) of three seconds.
10. When people sing happy birthday to you and you just have to sit there like “…”
11. When a friend leaves the room and leaves you alone with their OTHER friend.
12. When you keep making eye contact with someone and start to look like an insane person.
13. When you say hello to someone but they don’t hear you and keep walking.
14. Even after all these years, watching a movie that has a sex scene in it with your parents.
15. Seeing someone you know in the grocery store and then seeing them in the next aisle. And the next aisle. And the next aisle.
HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU SAY HI?!
16. Watching a couple suck face in public.
17. Saying/hugging/shaking good-bye to a friend and realizing you’re both headed in the same direction.
18. Doing something weirdly sexual and accidentally making eye contact with someone.
19. When someone is holding the door open for you but you’re a LITTLE bit too far away and have to start running.
21. People who 1. Talk in the bathroom, and 2. Pull something like this:
22. When you think a hug or wave is meant for you and get totally shot down:
25. Not knowing whether a fist bump or high five is appropriate, and ending up with something like this:
26. Doing the “stranger dance” when you and someone you don’t know are walking at each other and have to avoid crashing.
27. And Michael Cera.
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