1. Because you’ll meet new people:
2. And make friendships that will last a lifetime:
3. And you’ll try new things:
4. Too complicated? Let me break it down for you:
5. Get it yet?
6. Things may get weird:
7. But just celebrate the weirdness:
8. Because today the haters won’t get you down:
Just roll your eyes at them:
And leave them in the dust:
9. You’ll take center stage:
10. And Facebook won’t think you’re a knee:
11. A man named “Tooty” will not hit on you:
12. And you’ll help those that need you the most:
13. And solve your problems that need solving:
14. And you’ll accomplish your dreams:
15. And this WILL NOT happen to you:
Definitely not this:
And especially not this:
16. So be open-minded:
17. Not close-minded:
And this will NEVER EVER HAPPEN again:
18. So suit up:
19. Get on board:
20. Picture a still-fat Jonah Hill:
21. Be glad that you had cereal for breakfast instead:
23. And look at this picture of a dog getting hit in the crotch with a tennis ball:
Now say it with me: TODAY WILL BE THE BEST DAY EVER!
- The fire at a South Carolina black church late Tuesday night wasn't arson, according to a preliminary investigation.
- The U.S. and Cuba have agreed to open embassies in Washington and Havana as they restore diplomatic ties after more than 50 years.
- Greece has become the first developed country to miss a debt payment to the International Monetary Fund.
- The U.S. has defeated Germany 2-0 in the Women's World Cup semis. Team USA will play Japan or England in the final ⚽️