1. Because you’ll meet new people:
2. And make friendships that will last a lifetime:
3. And you’ll try new things:
4. Too complicated? Let me break it down for you:
5. Get it yet?
6. Things may get weird:
7. But just celebrate the weirdness:
8. Because today the haters won’t get you down:
Just roll your eyes at them:
And leave them in the dust:
9. You’ll take center stage:
10. And Facebook won’t think you’re a knee:
11. A man named “Tooty” will not hit on you:
12. And you’ll help those that need you the most:
13. And solve your problems that need solving:
14. And you’ll accomplish your dreams:
15. And this WILL NOT happen to you:
Definitely not this:
And especially not this:
16. So be open-minded:
17. Not close-minded:
And this will NEVER EVER HAPPEN again:
18. So suit up:
19. Get on board:
20. Picture a still-fat Jonah Hill:
21. Be glad that you had cereal for breakfast instead:
23. And look at this picture of a dog getting hit in the crotch with a tennis ball:
Now say it with me: TODAY WILL BE THE BEST DAY EVER!
- The family of Sandra Bland, who died in a Texas jail cell in July three days after she was detained during a traffic stop, filed a wrongful death lawsuit in federal court.
- Migrant deaths in the Mediterranean have exceeded 2,000, making 2015 the deadliest year for people trying to reach Europe, according to the International Organization for Migration.
- At least 24 homes have been lost and one firefighter killed as dozens of wildfires continue to ravage drought-stricken California.