There are other ways to show you’ve found Jesus.
2. I Shaved My Balls For This?
Don’t worry, you’ll be extra popular with the other inmates.
4. Licensed Orangutan Rapist
Yes, I know it really says therapist. But you can never be too carful when it comes to the possibility of looking like an animal rapist.
5. Boston Massacre
This Nike shirt was going for $150,000 on eBay before it was pulled. What is wrong with people?
6. Gold Digging
Wow, Nike is just on a roll.
7. I Heart Midget Porn
As true as this may be, you should probably keep it to yourself.
8. “Period Power” Tee
American Apparel you so get me, I’ve always wanted to wear a bloody vagina on my chest. Said no one ever. (Except, maybe, the guy who loves midget porn.)
9. I’m busy. You’re ugly. Have a nice day.
I’m not interested. You’re an asshole. Go f**k yourself.
10. “Eat Less” by Urban Outfitters
Well, the brand does cater to “upscale homeless” people so this kind of makes sense. Just kidding, it’s appalling and UO should be ashamed.
11. Trust Me! I’m A Police Officer
Yeah … I don’t think that saying works in this situation. I mean, does anyone really trust police officers?
12. Support Your Local Hooker
That fish isn’t fooling anyone.
13. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
Again, not fooling anyone.
14. I’d Do Me
Really? I find that a little hard to believe.
I hope she wasn’t traveling to America in that shirt…
17. I’m A Virgin (But this is an old shirt)
Is it though?
18. Who Needs Brains When You Have These?
Your parents must be so proud.
19. “New Twerk City” by Urban Outfitters
Please, make it stop.
20. Don’t Bother I’m Not Drunk Yet
WARNING: This shirt leads to teenage pregnancy.
22. How To Catch An Illegal Immigrant
Oh, I get it! You’re a racist.
23. # more boyfriends than t.s.
I don’t know what’s more pathetic, the fact that Abercrombie came up with this shirt or that they discontinued it because Taylor Swift fans sent them angry tweets.
24. Obama Is My Slave
Do you want everyone to hate you?
25. I Pooped Today!
I’m happy you don’t suffer from constipation?
26. Straight Pride
There is no pride in ignorance. Also, you’re like 10. Who do you need to prove your sexuality to?
29. I Came …
It doesn’t even matter what the rest of the shirt says … you’ve already made a fool of yourself.