30 Shirts You Probably Shouldn’t Wear

And by “probably,” I mean “definitely.”

1. EX-Masturbator

There are other ways to show you’ve found Jesus.

ID: 1909158

2. I Shaved My Balls For This?

Don’t worry, you’ll be extra popular with the other inmates.

ID: 1909279

3. Problem Solved

Calm down, Chris Brown.

ID: 1909485

4. Licensed Orangutan Rapist

Yes, I know it really says therapist. But you can never be too carful when it comes to the possibility of looking like an animal rapist.

ID: 1909191

5. Boston Massacre

This Nike shirt was going for $150,000 on eBay before it was pulled. What is wrong with people?

ID: 1909379

6. Gold Digging

Wow, Nike is just on a roll.

ID: 1909458

7. I Heart Midget Porn

As true as this may be, you should probably keep it to yourself.

ID: 1909317

8. “Period Power” Tee

American Apparel you so get me, I’ve always wanted to wear a bloody vagina on my chest. Said no one ever. (Except, maybe, the guy who loves midget porn.)

ID: 1909404

9. I’m busy. You’re ugly. Have a nice day.

I’m not interested. You’re an asshole. Go f**k yourself.

ID: 1909246

10. “Eat Less” by Urban Outfitters

Well, the brand does cater to “upscale homeless” people so this kind of makes sense. Just kidding, it’s appalling and UO should be ashamed.

ID: 1909262

11. Trust Me! I’m A Police Officer

Yeah … I don’t think that saying works in this situation. I mean, does anyone really trust police officers?

ID: 1909355

12. Support Your Local Hooker

That fish isn’t fooling anyone.

ID: 1909357

13. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Again, not fooling anyone.

ID: 1909375

14. I’d Do Me

Really? I find that a little hard to believe.

ID: 1909364

15. I Was Lubed Up


ID: 1909370

16. #$@$#@%$#

I hope she wasn’t traveling to America in that shirt…

ID: 1909502

17. I’m A Virgin (But this is an old shirt)

Is it though?

ID: 1909347

18. Who Needs Brains When You Have These?

Your parents must be so proud.

ID: 1909398

19. “New Twerk City” by Urban Outfitters

Please, make it stop.

ID: 1909522

20. Don’t Bother I’m Not Drunk Yet

WARNING: This shirt leads to teenage pregnancy.

ID: 1909412

21. Enjoy Vagina

So does this one.

ID: 1909421

22. How To Catch An Illegal Immigrant

Oh, I get it! You’re a racist.

ID: 1909428

23. # more boyfriends than t.s.

I don’t know what’s more pathetic, the fact that Abercrombie came up with this shirt or that they discontinued it because Taylor Swift fans sent them angry tweets.

ID: 1909439

24. Obama Is My Slave

Do you want everyone to hate you?

ID: 1909443

25. I Pooped Today!

I’m happy you don’t suffer from constipation?

ID: 1909470

26. Straight Pride

There is no pride in ignorance. Also, you’re like 10. Who do you need to prove your sexuality to?

ID: 1909451

27. Get On My Level

I’d rather not.

ID: 1909474

28. W.I.F.E

Thanks for feeding that stereotype.

ID: 1909483

29. I Came …

It doesn’t even matter what the rest of the shirt says … you’ve already made a fool of yourself.

ID: 1909493

30. And finally, “I F**k On The First Date”

This kid is awesome and deserves to win at life.

ID: 1909579

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