1. PEOPLE ARE CONSTANTLY TELLING YOU TO STOP SCREAMING.
I’M NOT SCREAMING, THIS IS MY NORMAL TONE OF VOICE.
2. YOU CAN NEVER SHARE A SECRET IN PUBLIC BECAUSE EVERYONE AROUND YOU WILL HEAR IT.
3. YOUR WHISPER CAN STILL BE HEARD THREE TOWNS OVER.
4. IN ORDER TO HAVE A PRIVATE CONVERSATION, YOU EITHER HAVE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE OR LOCK YOURSELF IN A CLOSET.
5. AN AMTRAK QUIET CAR SEEMS MORE LIKE A CHALLENGE THAN A SUGGESTION.
6. YOU THINK IT’S NORMAL THAT IN A CROWDED PLACE, YOU CAN HEAR THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY BEFORE YOU SEE THEM.
7. OTHER PEOPLE SCATTER AT THE POOL WHEN YOUR FAMILY SHOWS UP.
8. THE SOUND OF YOUR FAMILY LAUGHING CAN CAUSE MINOR AFTERSHOCKS FOR YOUR ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD.
BONUS POINTS IF COPS EVERY SHOWED UP TO YOUR HOUSE RESPONDING TO A NOISE COMPLAINT THAT TURNED OUT TO BE AN ESPECIALLY HEATED GAME OF PICTIONARY.
9. WHEN SOMETHING INSANE HAPPENS ON TV, EVERYONE WITHIN A FIVE-MILE RADIUS HEARS OF IT AT THE SAME TIME.
10. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR “INSIDE VOICE” IS, BUT YOU’RE ALWAYS BEING TOLD TO USE IT.
- Illinois' attorney general has asked the U.S. Department of Justice's Civil Rights Division to investigate Chicago's police department. ›
- Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg says he'll give away 99% of his Facebook shares (worth $45 billion today) over the course of his life. ›
- And a Turkish court had to call in experts to determine whether a man comparing the country's president to Gollum from "Lord of the Rings" was an insult. ›