1. March Madness has finally arrived, so here’s a helpful reminder: No matter what happens to your team…
2. No matter what happens to your bracket…
3. You’re rooting for college students aged 18 to 21.
It’s true, bro: Your hopes and dreams are being placed on people not old enough to rent a car. And most of your team can’t legally drink!
4. They have college kid problems — which makes sense because, you know, they are college kids.
For instance: They’re at the age when this mustache-hair combination is something you might leave the house with.
5. These players are impossibly young. This is the last NCAA Tournament that will ever feature players born in the ’80s. Some of the freshmen in this class were born in 1995. You have gym socks older than them!
Also, seriously, you should throw out of those gym socks. Like, do it right now.